I don’t know how long I’m standing out here when I feel a hand on my back. I whirl around to see Hazel standing behind me, wrapped up in a soft grey robe I’d packed her. “Hey,” she says softly.
“Hey.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, love, don’t worry. You can go on back to bed.”
But ignoring my words, she steps out more, joining me beside the railing and wriggling close to me. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and bring her closer, and for a moment, we just stand like that together and stare out at the ocean and the stars.
“What’s going on?” she asks me after a moment, “Something’s bothering you. Did I do something to upset you?”
“No, sweetheart, not at all,” I assure her, “You’re amazing, you’ve been fantastic.”
“So what is it, then? You’ve been acting kinda off this whole trip, but especially since this afternoon…”
I hesitate for a moment. I don’t want to tell her all of the crazy shit that’s been bouncing around in my head. I don’t think Hazel would care if I turned out not to be straight, but even so, I don’t even know how I’d begin to tell her something like that.
But I also don’t want to lie to her. “I’m not totally sure,” I say finally, “I’ve just got something on my mind I’m kind of processing, but I don’t think I’m quite ready to talk about it yet.”
She looks up at me, searching my face, and I hate myself for putting that worried look in her eyes, but finally she nods. “Okay. Well, you know that I’m here to listen whenever you are, right?”
“Of course, baby, thank you,” I bend down to kiss her forehead, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Eh, you’d be fine,” she says, “You’d bounce back, probably find someone younger and hotter.”
“Not even close,” I say firmly, shaking my head, “My heart would shatter into a million pieces, and I’d be lost. Fated to roam this Earth a broken man for the rest of my days.”
She laughs. “I don’t buy that for a second, you drama queen, you’re too tough for that. You’d be fine,” she smiles fondly, “But you sure do know how to make a girl feel special.”
“Good. You should feel special, because you are. And okay, maybe I wouldn’t completely curl up and die, but I sure as hell wouldn’t just be shacking up with the next pretty young thing to come my way,” I tell her, gripping her chin in my hand and tilting her face up towards mine, “You’re irreplaceable, baby girl.”
We share a sweet, tender kiss, then I wrap my arms around her from behind, positioning her between me and the railing, and the two of us stand for a long time staring out over the ocean and just basking in each other’s company.
And when we finally do go back to bed, with Hazel tucked into my arms, I fall asleep in minutes.
Chapter Twelve
Hazel
By the time Chip goes to shut off the music after our second private class with him, Brendon’s splayed like a starfish on the floor. “Okay…” he says, still slightly winded, “How the hell did you manage all that after a full day with like five other classes?”
I have to admit, I’m feeling more than a little worn out, myself. This one had definitely been more rigorous than our prior classes, and in spite of the fact that he’s been dancing all day, Chip still looks fresh as a daisy. Which only makes Brendon and I look all the more like wilted weeds by comparison.
“Years and years of practice,” Chip laughs, “And believe me, I’m feeling it, I just play it off well.”
“Well, thank you again for fitting us in after all of that,” I tell him, brushing a lock of hair from my face, “Can we treat you to dinner or something? We owe you one anyway.”
“I already told you that you didn’t,” he protests.
“Well, if we didn’t before, we certainly do now,” Brendon says, sitting up and propping an elbow on one knee, “Especially since you won’t take any kind of tip or anything for the extra classes.”
“I wouldn’t offer the extras for free if I expected anything in return.”
“Would you just shut up and let us buy you some fucking dinner?” I ask him, putting my hands on my hips, “Or am I going to have to drag you down myself?”
The idea is laughable, considering he’s got at least a foot of height on me and could probably bench-press me in his sleep, while I’ve got the muscle definition of linguini. But the joke threat is enough to make him laugh and hold up his palms in acquiescence.
“All right, all right, calm down, Bruiser, if you insist, then yes, I would love to join you two for dinner.”