And while I had planned to keep things short and simple, I end up spilling everything, from crushing on Marlene in high school to falling for her all over again now. “And I don’t know what the hell to do with it, Cass. I love Andrei, and I still want to be with him, that hasn’t changed. But…I want her here, too.”
I hear a sigh over the phone. “Maybe instead of hiding from her, you need to talk to her,” Cassidy says.
“I don’t know what to say, because I have no idea where these feelings can even go. This was supposed to be a temporary thing, I wouldn’t even know how to sustain something like this on a long-term basis.”
“I don’t really know, either, but if you don’t say something soon, you aren’t going to have a chance.”
“What do you mean?” I ask her.
She sighs heavily. “Fuck, I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell you this,” she begins reluctantly, “But Marlene’s out on a date tonight. She ran into this old boss of hers, Todd, and since you guys have been giving her the cold shoulder lately, she said yes when he asked her out.”
My stomach sinks, and the words feel like a punch to the chest. I recognize the name, she’d mentioned him before years ago, lamenting his busy schedule and wishing the rest of us could meet him. I’m sure as hell wishing I could meet him now, and beat his fucking face into a pulp.
The rage is unjustified, I know, it’s not really Todd’s fault, but even so. The thought of another man out with our girl,mygirl, makes me see red.
“Corey? You okay?”
I swallow the rage and hurt and keep my voice steady as I respond. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Are you?”
“Not really,” I admit.
“Talk to Andrei, and talk to Marlene. There’s stuff here that isn’t mine to tell, but I’ve told her the same fucking thing: the three of you need to have a conversation.”
My curiosity piques, and I wonder what “stuff” she’s referring to, but I won’t ask her to betray what I assume is Marlene’s trust.
I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. “I’m gonna let you go, Cass, Andrei’s coming down, and you’re right, I need to talk to him.”
“Oh, thank fuck, finally someone listens to me!” she exclaims.
It’s enough to make me laugh as we bid each other goodbye and she wishes me good luck. I hang up the phone and set it aside, looking up as Andrei steps into the room. “Hey.”
“Hey. Who was that?” he asks curiously.
“Cass,” I answer, “I called her to get an outside perspective on things, and she shared a rather interesting little tidbit with me.”
“Oh, what’s that?”
“Mars is out on a date tonight.”
A muscle in Andrei’s jaw twitches and I note one of his hands curling into a fist, but he otherwise manages to maintain somewhat of a poker face. If I didn’t know him like I do, I might fall for it, but as it stands, I can see the words hit him like a blow. He’s silent for a beat, before swallowing hard and gritting out, “Good for her.”
“Good for her?!” I ask incredulously, “Are you shitting me? She might be carrying your fucking baby, and you’re just fine with her being out with someone else?”
“What do you want me to say, Corey?” he sighs, “She’s single, she has every right to be out tonight. Wasn’t this what we wanted? Some distance?”
“Wanted? No,” I retort.
“What else are we supposed to do, tell her she can’t go out with anyone else because despite the fact that we promised her a thousand fucking times we wouldn’t, we both got attached?” he says, his voice raising a little until it cracks slightly on the word “promised.”
“We promised her we wouldn’t do this,” he says, blinking quickly against eyes shining with unshed tears, “We swore that we could do this for her without shit getting messy.Iswore, this whole thing was my fucking fault.”
His words are a gut punch. He’s right. We’d promised Marlene that we could do this for her without things taking a turn like this. And if we break that promise, there’s no going back, our friendship with her would be irrevocably changed. If it isn’t already.
“So what are we supposed to do?” I ask, defeat weighing heavy on my words, “Just let her go?”
Andrei shakes his head. “We can’t let go of someone who was never ours to begin with.”