“Aly, I’m sorry-” Max starts, but I hold up a hand to cut him off.
“I think I’m gonna go back upstairs for a little while,” I tell him softly, “I need a bath.”
He frowns. “Breakfast is almost ready,” he protests.
“I’m not feeling terribly hungry at the moment,” I reply flatly, then head back up to our room and into the master bathroom, locking the door behind me.
I turn the faucet and dump some lavender scented bubble bath into the stream, watching as it foams on the surface. I feel guilty for having pitched such a fit, but my emotions had gotten the better of me. And beyond that, I’d been kind of blindsided and overwhelmed by the suggestion of Forrest as a sperm donor.
I liked Forrest, I liked him a lot. In fact, that was part of my problem. The more I got to know him, the more I wanted him around. I didn’t understand it. I still loved Max and wanted to be with him, but there were still these weird growing feelings…for his ex-boyfriend.
So how was I supposed to feel about possibly carrying his baby?
I couldn’t say I hated the idea, but that scared me a little in and of itself. What does it say about me that I get a little thrill out of the thought of my fiancé’s ex-boyfriend knocking me up?
Well, I know it sure as hell says I was a bitch about the whole situation to Max. I don’t have any right to jump down his throat with feelings like these bouncing around in my brain. It all sort of feels like that whole cliché about the cheater accusing the innocent partner of cheating.
I sigh and slip into the warm water, turning off the faucet as I sink under the bubbles. I know the first thing I’m going to do when I get out of here is to apologize to him.
I try to imagine how it would feel to be in his shoes, to be the one to have to tell him that I couldn’t ever give him a child, and it twists in my gut. I know if it were me, I’d be crushed, and I’d have no idea how to give him news like that.
And it occurs to me that if I were in his shoes, I might have gone to someone else first to figure it out, too. I can see myself asking Jillian how to deliver something like that to him, venting my feelings and pouring out my hurt.
Max and his brother don’t have a bad relationship or anything, but they aren’t really close enough for a heart-to-heart like that. I was his closest confidante, and truth be told, I’d never really given much thought to who he might turn to if he needed to talk about a problem that I was too close to.
Could I really blame him for needing another listening ear? And yes, he and Forrest had history, but it was years ago, and neither one of them had given me any reason not to trust them. So it wasn’t fair of me to jump down Max’s throat just because of the shoulder he chose to lean on.
I sighed and reached for my loofa.
A little while later, I pad back downstairs, wrapped in my robe, hair still damp. Max is settled on the couch watching TV, and he looks up when I approach. “Hey, babe, I saved some breakfast in the fridge for you,” he says tentatively.
I crawl into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his. His arms coil around my waist and he kisses me back. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, baby,” I tell him softly.
“You were right, I should have talked to you first,” he says.
I shake my head. “You’re allowed to have other people to talk to. And just because you and Forrest have history together doesn’t mean you’re not the same man I fell in love with and trust completely.”
He searches my face and slowly smiles. “I love you, Aly.”
“Love you, too,” I smile and press my forehead to his, “And it’s super sweet of Forrest to offer to help us like that. If you want to do it, maybe the three of us should sit down and talk about it.”
“Really?” he draws back so he can look at me, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah,” I nod, “Really. But only if that’s what you want, I’m still open to other options, too.”
“Can’t hurt to at least talk about it,” he says.
“Well, tell you what, then, why don’t we ask him to come for dinner tonight, order in some food, and have what might be the strangest conversation any of us have ever had in our lives?”
Max laughs. “Sounds like a plan to me, my love.”