‘That’s why it was just a sliver. Nose hairs. Ear hairs, a trim of the eyebrows. It’s important to be presentable.’
‘At your Drowning?’
Bugg laughed. ‘That would be fun.’ Then he grew sober and leaned forward across his desk. ‘You don’t think it will come to that, surely. As your client, I expect a most diligent defence at my trial.’
‘As your advocate, Master Bugg, I will be first in line demanding your blood.’
‘Oh, that’s not very loyal of you.’
‘You have not paid for my loyalty.’
‘But loyalty is not something one pays for, Advocate Sleem.’
‘Had I known that delusions accompanied your now-apparent incompetence, Master Bugg, I would never have agreed to represent you in any matter whatsoever.’
Bugg leaned back. ‘That makes no sense,’ he said. ‘As Tehol Beddict has observed on countless occasions, delusions lie at the very heart of our economic system. Indenture as ethical virtue. Pieces of otherwise useless metal-beyond decoration-as wealth. Servitude as freedom. Debt as ownership. And so on.’
‘Ah, but those stated delusions are essential to my well-being, Master Bugg. Without them my profession would not exist. All of civilization is, in essence, a collection of contracts. Why, the very nature of society is founded upon mutually agreed measures of value.’ He stopped then, and slowly shook his head-a motion alarmingly sinuous. ‘Why am I even discussing this with you? You are clearly insane, and your insanity is about to trigger an avalanche of financial devastation.’
‘I don’t see why, Master Sleem. Unless, of course, your faith in the notion of social contract is nothing more than cynical self-interest.’
‘Of course it is, you fool!’
So much for awkward sibilance.
Sleem’s fingers wriggled like snared, blind and groping worms. ‘Without cynicism,’ he said in a strangled voice, ‘one becomes the system’s victim rather than its master, and I am too clever to be a victim!’
‘Which you must prove to yourself repeatedly in the measuring by your wealth, your ease of life, of the necessary contrast with the victims-a contrast that you must surround yourself with at every moment, as represented by your material excesses.’
‘Wordy, Master Bugg. Smug ostentation will suffice.’
‘Brevity from you, Advocate Sleem?’
‘You get what you pay for.’
‘By that token,’ Bugg observed, ‘I am surprised you’re saying anything at all.’
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‘That’s why it was just a sliver. Nose hairs. Ear hairs, a trim of the eyebrows. It’s important to be presentable.’
‘At your Drowning?’
Bugg laughed. ‘That would be fun.’ Then he grew sober and leaned forward across his desk. ‘You don’t think it will come to that, surely. As your client, I expect a most diligent defence at my trial.’
‘As your advocate, Master Bugg, I will be first in line demanding your blood.’
‘Oh, that’s not very loyal of you.’
‘You have not paid for my loyalty.’
‘But loyalty is not something one pays for, Advocate Sleem.’
‘Had I known that delusions accompanied your now-apparent incompetence, Master Bugg, I would never have agreed to represent you in any matter whatsoever.’
Bugg leaned back. ‘That makes no sense,’ he said. ‘As Tehol Beddict has observed on countless occasions, delusions lie at the very heart of our economic system. Indenture as ethical virtue. Pieces of otherwise useless metal-beyond decoration-as wealth. Servitude as freedom. Debt as ownership. And so on.’
‘Ah, but those stated delusions are essential to my well-being, Master Bugg. Without them my profession would not exist. All of civilization is, in essence, a collection of contracts. Why, the very nature of society is founded upon mutually agreed measures of value.’ He stopped then, and slowly shook his head-a motion alarmingly sinuous. ‘Why am I even discussing this with you? You are clearly insane, and your insanity is about to trigger an avalanche of financial devastation.’
‘I don’t see why, Master Sleem. Unless, of course, your faith in the notion of social contract is nothing more than cynical self-interest.’
‘Of course it is, you fool!’
So much for awkward sibilance.
Sleem’s fingers wriggled like snared, blind and groping worms. ‘Without cynicism,’ he said in a strangled voice, ‘one becomes the system’s victim rather than its master, and I am too clever to be a victim!’
‘Which you must prove to yourself repeatedly in the measuring by your wealth, your ease of life, of the necessary contrast with the victims-a contrast that you must surround yourself with at every moment, as represented by your material excesses.’
‘Wordy, Master Bugg. Smug ostentation will suffice.’
‘Brevity from you, Advocate Sleem?’
‘You get what you pay for.’
‘By that token,’ Bugg observed, ‘I am surprised you’re saying anything at all.’
‘What follows is my gift. I will set forth immediately to inform your financiers that you are in fact broke, and I will in turn offer my services in the feeding frenzy over your material assets.’
‘Generous of you.’
Sleem’s lips disappeared into a bony grimace. One eye twitched. The worms at the ends of his hands had gone white and deathly. ‘In the meantime, I will take those two docks.’
‘Not quite two.’
‘Nonetheless.’
‘I can owe you that missing sliver.’
‘Be certain that I will have it, eventually.’
‘All right.’ Bugg reached into the purse and fished out the two coins. ‘This is a loan, yes?’
‘Against my fees?’
‘Naturally.’
‘I sense you are no longer playing the game, Master Bugg.’
‘Which game would that be?’
‘The one where winners win and losers lose.’
‘Oh, that game. No, I suppose not. Assuming, of course, I ever did.’
‘I have a sudden suspicion-this very real truth behind all the rumours of impending market collapse-it is all your doing, isn’t it?’
‘Hardly. Countless winners jumped in, I assure you. Believing, naturally, that they would win in the end. That’s how these things work. Until they stop working.’ Bugg snapped his fingers. ‘Poof!’
‘Without those contracts, Master Bugg, there will be chaos.’
‘You mean the winners will panic and the losers will launch themselves into their own feeding frenzy. Yes. Chaos.’
‘You are truly insane.’
‘No, just tired. I’ve looked into the eyes of too many losers, Sleem. Far too many.’
‘And your answer is to make losers of us all. To level the playing field? But it won’t do that, you know. You must know that, Bugg. It won’t. Instead, the thugs will find the top of every heap, and instead of debt you will have true slavery; instead of contracts you will have tyranny.’