Chapter Sixteen
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“Oh dear, come inside. You look exhausted.” Nikolet opened the door and gave Ziva a tender, motherly hug.
Ziva wrapped her arms around Nikolet’s waist and didn’t let go. She couldn’t believe she made it. When she decided to leave the main road and cut through the woods, it sounded like a smart thing to do. It provided shade so she wouldn’t overheat, as well as kept anyone from grabbing her off the trail.
She never would’ve left the woods and come to Nikolet’s home if she thought she’d been followed. Whoever thought they had me will have some explaining to do to their boss. I’ve been hiding in the shadows for most of my life. Ziva wasn’t sure she knew how to function any other way.
Ziva felt safe for the first time since she’d spotted the black SUV at the hotel. Every vehicle she’d passed on the road had spooked her. Then, in the woods, she’d looked over her shoulder every time she heard the rustle of branches. It felt good to be here, safe, in the home of Alex’s mother. Even though Alex didn’t grow up here, or with Nikolet, I feel as though I’m close to him here.
As the two women finally released their hold of each other, Nikolet took her by the hand and led her into the kitchen. It was where they’d spent hours chatting the last time. “Let me get you something cold to drink while you sit and tell me why you’re here.” Nikolet didn’t turn around as she added, “I would’ve thought you would be with my son.”
“I was thinking the same thing about you when I knocked on the door.” Ziva had wanted to see Nikolet again, but after all the years they’d spent apart, she thought Nikolet would go with him to Boston. Filled with concern, she asked, “You did see him, right?”
Nikolet turned with a smile that shined all the way to her eyes. “Yes, my dear. I saw him last night. We had a... lovely time talking.”
Then her eyes glistened, and Ziva hoped something hadn’t gone wrong. When she’d told Nikolet about Alex, she wanted it to be a joyous occasion. She never thought it might cause her pain as well. That’s because I’m not a mother and was only thinking of the instant connection, not the goodbye.
She couldn’t begin to understand how Nikolet was feeling. It was breaking Ziva’s heart not to be with Alex. She could only imagine how a mother would feel. No matter how many times mothers had to face the cruelty of having a daughter taken away from them, the pain never got any easier. I can see it in the faces of the women. The dead look in their eyes, a black hole that will never be filled.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Nikolet forced a smile, but Ziva could see the pain written all over her face.
“You haven’t. I’m so grateful you came to me and told me my son was here.”
“I thought maybe he’d have asked you to go with him to Boston.” If you were my mother, I never would’ve left you here.
“He did.”
“Then why are you not on the jet with him?” Ziva was shocked.
“I almost did. If I hadn’t met you first, I most likely would’ve been.”
“Me? What did I do?” Ziva didn’t remember saying anything bad about Boston or Alex.
Nikolet reached out and patted her hand. “You opened my eyes to what Tabiq can be again. You gave me hope. Something I had lost.”
Ziva’s eyes welled up. “I know it can be a place to be proud of again. It’s going to take—”
“More than just you. With me here, we are at least two.”
“You mean you stayed to help me?”
Nikolet shook her head. “I stayed to help Tabiq. The same as you.”
Ziva understood. “Thank you, but do you realize what you’re giving up?”
“Not as much as you are.”
She raised a brow. “I don’t understand. The son you’ve wanted for almost forty years is back in your life.”
“I had no control of what was taken from me. I can’t get that lost time back. All I can do is live in the moment. Alex will always be in my life, in my heart, whether we are in the same country or not. Rest assured, my dear, we’ll keep in touch.”
“I’m sorry for what you lost, but I’m glad you finally have each other now.”
“It’s none of my business, but you, my dear Ziva, why are you letting go of the man you love? He isn’t being ripped from your arms. You are sending him away. I fear it’s going to be the greatest regret you carry when you reach my age.”
It was something she battled over and over. She wanted to be with him. And I do love him. “It’s not that simple. We’re from two different worlds. I don’t fit in his.” And he doesn’t want to be in mine.