But if his declaration of love wasn’t hard enough to resist, he had to go and be there for Nia too. Life wasn’t fair sometimes. If this was three months ago, there would be no doubt, no hesitation. But after him being gone for so long, without so much as even a phone call, they couldn’t just pick up where they left off. Because honestly, she wasn’t that same person.
She had told one of her patients, that if having a baby didn’t change your life, then you’re not doing it right. Nia certainly had changed Krista’s.
Why did you come back now? Can’t you see that it makes this all the harder for me?
Krista wasn’t one who normally put up walls, but she needed to build one around her heart and quick. Her stomach hurt and she felt sick. Not what the word love should do to a woman, but sure enough, she felt like she was about to hurl.
Rushing to the bathroom, she let out the entire contents of her stomach. The waves of nausea continued to come until she felt weak. It couldn’t be something she ate, because she only had coffee. Last night was a bowl of cereal. So what was causing this?
She stood up at the sink and washed her face with cold water. Maybe it was the stress of everything this morning? That definitely was more than she could handle. Krista would go and have some tea and toast and hopefully her stomach would settle. As she opened the door, another wave hit her and she barely had time to hover over the toilet.
As this one stopped, she sat on the floor and leaned against the wall afraid to go too far. There was a knock on the bathroom door.
“Krista, are you okay?” Connor asked.
If feeling like her insides were coming out was normal, then yes. “Give me a few minutes. Maybe it’ll pass.”
The knob turned and the door opened. Connor walked in and squatted down in front of her. “Can I get you anything?” She shook her head.
“Where is Nia?” she asked.
“Sleeping in her crib.”
She really should’ve been changed first, but that could be done later, when Krista could actually stand without feeling sick. “Thank you. Maybe you should go so you don’t get sick too.”
“I’m not leaving” he said firmly. “Why don’t I help you to bed?”
“I think this is the spot for me for a while. But maybe you can bring me my phone. It is in the bedroom on the charger.”
He left her but was back with the phone. “Who do you want me to call?” he asked.
“Laurel, and I can do it myself,” she said.
He held her phone. “She’s in Boston. And I thought you meant you were going to call your doctor.”
“I am a doctor,” she reminded him.
“Okay. So what would Laurel do that I can’t?” he asked.
She looked up at him and said as honestly as she could, “Take care of Nia.”
“I can do that,” he said.
If she wasn’t feeling so ill, she’d have laughed. “Connor, you picked her up and rocked her. There’s a lot more to caring for a baby than that.”
“I know that,” he replied.
“Have you ever changed a diaper, or prepared a bottle?”
“No. But what I have is a sister on speed dial and we can Facetime through any instructions that I can’t figure out myself. Believe it or not, I’m a responsible adult,” he said.
She wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or himself of that fact. Right now it didn’t matter. “Connor I’m not leaving my daughter in your care.”
“You’re not leaving. You’ll just be in the other room. If I have questions you’re not far. If you hear something you don’t like, I’m sure you’ll tell me what I’m doing wrong. But you’re right about one thing, Nia needs her mother. Which means you need to take care of yourself. So why not let me take care of you?” he asked.
Because it’ll hurt too much when you leave again.
Right now, she could barely hold her head up, never mind argue with him. So instead she rattled off all the instruction she could regarding Nia. All she needed was to lie down for a bit and she’d be better soon. And he was right, she wasn’t leaving them alone, just resting for a few minutes.