He was all done sitting and thinking. It was time to take action. Connor walked back to his car, turned on the ignition, and threw it into reverse. He just hoped this time his mouth didn’t do more harm than good.
Even in the rearview mirror, he could see Krista standing on the porch talking to the postman as he handed her a manila envelope. She seemed thrilled to be receiving it. Hopefully she was going to be just as thrilled to see he had returned.
The postman drove away and Krista stayed on the porch just staring at Connor’s car. It was a good sign that she hadn’t stormed back into the house, or picked up a rock and smashed in his rear window.
Move it Connor before she changes her mind.
He turned the car off and approached her house. Connor kept his distance, not because he wanted to, but she needed it, he could tell.
“Did you forget something?” she asked.
Yeah. To tell you I love you.
“I thought maybe we could try this conversation again. And this time, I shut my mouth and listen.”
Krista stayed where she was. “I’m not sure what you want me to say?”
“It’s not what I want to hear, it’s what you want to say that matters. I should’ve been here all along to listen when you needed someone to talk to, and to support you when you needed a shoulder. I’m sorry I wasn’t.” He waited, holding his breath.
Krista finally nodded and waved for him to come inside. His heart was doing all kinds of wacky shit. It even felt as though it was skipping a beat every so often. It wasn’t his life that was on the line, but his future, his happiness, their life together, if it was even possible anymore. Connor was a take control and make it happen type of guy. This wasn’t that situation. He needed to stop and turn that over to Krista.
When they got inside, Krista sat on one end of the couch and pointed for him to take the other. He did as she requested. But she didn’t seem ready to talk and he was bursting at the gut with things he needed to say. Guess this is a lesson in patience.
A few minutes later she said, “I’m not pregnant.”
“I know.”
“So why are you back here then? I mean, there is no reason for you to panic. You’re free to return to wherever you were.”
He needed to choose his words wisely. “I’m not here to talk about work.”
“And I already told you, you’re not going to be a father,” she said flatly.
Those words still hurt. It made no sense, but then again, what did since he met her? From the moment she grabbed his arm in New York, she had hold of him. Not physically, but something much deeper. Even if she sent him away, that hold wouldn’t vanish. And the thought of this being the end, the last time he saw her, that might just be enough to stop his heart completely.
“I know you won’t believe me, but I wish it had been true.”
She crossed her arms and shot him a look. “You wanted me to be pregnant? Why? You’ve told me right along how you didn’t want any children.”
“And you told me that you didn’t believe it. I guess you were right. I do want to be a father,” he said for the first time out loud.
“I… guess I’m happy for you then. I mean that you have finally figured out what you want. I hope…you get what you want someday.”
What I want is you!
“Me too. But sometimes life has other plans for you. I’m sure you understand that,” he said.
Krista nodded. “Yes I do. My plan right now is asleep in the nursery.”
“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked.
“She died. You were there when I got the call, remember?” she said snidely.
It wasn’t something he would ever forget. Both of them dealt with her passing differently. Connor did what he always did, buried himself in his work. And Krista, apparently did what came naturally. And saved someone.
But he needed saving too, just in a different way. Without her, he was…half the person he was meant to be.
“And now you are caring for her child?” he asked.