“If you don’t mind, I don’t want to have this conversation in a towel. Coffee is in the pot. Help yourself. I’ll be back in a minute,” she said, and stormed out of the room.
Once inside her bedroom, she tried to control her breathing. How dare he just show up after months and start questioning her. It was none of his business. If he had cared about her, he would’ve called, wrote, or come to see her, long before now.
She pulled off the towel and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Krista didn’t even bother putting on a bra. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen every inch of her before. And she also didn’t plan on him staying much longer. They’d talk and when his coffee was done, he could leave. It was that simple.
But nothing with Connor had been simple. Not how they met, and not how they said goodbye. What made her think this would be?
He was still standing in the living room when she returned, and no coffee in hand either. “Do you want to sit?”
Connor shook his head. “I don’t think I can. I’m…not sure if I’m pissed or hurt. But I’m blown away Krista. I really would’ve thought I’d have received a call. I know I said I don’t want any kids, but really? This is how you handled it? You think I don’t want to be in the baby’s life? It’s been three months. I can only imagine what I’ve missed. I don’t want to miss any more.”
“I…I never thought about it. You said you were leaving, to go out of the country. You said you didn’t do commitments. A baby is a huge commitment. Just because I was willing to take it on, didn’t mean you had to drop everything and do the same.”
“But I should’ve been given the option. How do you think I feel having to hear it from Laurel?”
She’d forgotten that Laurel was in Boston this weekend. “She shouldn’t have said anything. But I am sorry you found out that way. I’d have liked to be the one to say something.”
“You think?” he snarled.
“Connor, what I did, is what I thought you wanted.”
“Maybe there was a time that’s what I wanted. But things change. People can change. Hell Krista, didn’t you feel it? The connection we had? That wasn’t just…sex. And yet you just threw it all away and decided what I need to know and what I don’t. I…I expected more from you.”
“I’m sorry. But you said you don’t do promises. And when you have a baby to care for, it’s one promise after another.”
“So you didn’t tell me because you thought I wouldn’t make a good father? Is that what you’re saying?” he asked.
She could see the hurt and anger in his eyes. Softly she said, “No. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. It was a huge decision. And being a single mother was something I needed to think about alone.”
“But you didn’t need to do this all alone. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’d have been here. Hell, Krista, I’m here now. And I want to be here. That is if you’ll let me. I’m not telling you I’ll be a perfect father. Hell, I can promise you that I’m going to make a hell of a lot of mistakes. But I won’t abandon my child.”
Your child?She just realized that Connor didn’t know about Nia. He thought she was…pregnant. What she was about to tell him either was going to make him the happiest man alive or hurt like hell. And she had no idea which it was going to be.
“Connor. Please sit. There is something you don’t know and I need to explain.”
“I don’t care if you say you don’t love me. Or if you don’t want me. Neither of those has anything to do with my child.”
“That’s the problem. It’s not your child,” she said.
His mouth gaped open and his eyes turned black. “What the fuck do you mean it’s not my child? Then whose is it?” he barked angerly.
Nia woke and started crying. Krista stood face to face with him and responded. “Miss Twanda’s.” Before he could say anything, Krista went into the nursery and shut the door behind her.
Connor wasn’t there because he loved or cared for her. He was there because he thought she was having his baby. Now he knew the truth. He could turn around and leave again. She didn’t need him here. She was fine doing this all on her own.
Nia whaled loudly and Krista said softly, “It’s okay Nia. Mommy is here. I’ve got angel. I’m not leaving you.”
Eventually, Nia went back to sleep and she laid her down in the crib again. Then she headed back into the living room. But there wasn’t anyone there. She looked outside and his car was gone as well.
If there was any glimmer of hope that he had loved her, it was gone. He’d made his choice. Nia wasn’t his, and he was free once again.
She locked the front door and headed into her bedroom. The tears were flowing but she needed to get them out. She’d been holding them in for months since the first time he’d walked out that door.
Just another promise you couldn’t keep Connor. But I have one for you. This was the last time you break my heart. Because I can’t do this again. Nia needs a strong happy mommy. Not a broken one.