“Can we sit down? Just for a second? I promise it’ll only be a few minutes.”
She sighs, tired of me already. Like I’m the damn salesperson at her door that won’t go away.
I walk in, looking around at the place I used to spend my time as a kid. Lewis used to let me hangout up here when my mom spent her time at the bar. It’s pretty small, a no bedroom condo. The small kitchen opens up to a small living room. Off to the side is a tiny bathroom with a tiny shower, no tub. That’s it. No bedroom. The couch must be a pullout bed, with all the pillows and blankets stacked on top of it.
I walk over and sit down on the edge of the couch. My mom stares at me from where she’s standing.
Folding her arms across her chest, she barks, “Well, get to it. I don’t got all day, Cara.”
I fiddle with my hands in my lap, breathing through the balloon of nervousness that’s filling up my chest.
“I’m pregnant.”
Her eyes go wide, and her arms drop to her sides. “Wow.”
That’s it. Justwow.
“I need your help.”
She frowns at that. “I’m not taking care of your child, Cara, if that’s what you’re asking. You were plenty for one lifetime.” She barks out a laugh, like she thinks she actually took care of me a day in her life
Nowthat’slaughable.
“No, I don’t want you to fucking take care of it. I just don’t know what to do. I need your advice.”
She shakes her head, but doesn’t seem at all shocked.
“What does that boy…” She thinks for a second, then snaps her fingers. “Logan! What does Logan think of it? That boy has had the hots for you since you were a kid. I bet he’s fumin’.”
Again. Seriously,again.
“Logan died, Mom.” I squeeze my hands together, nails digging into my palms.When will the pain end?
Her eyes grow wide at that, andnowshe’s shocked.
“Wow. Well, those boys are in some bad shit, Cara. I always knew they was trouble.”
I sink further into the couch, so fucking sad. This isn’t what I intended when coming here. Dealing with my mom acting like this. And it’s not like I was expecting anything positive but having to talk about Logantwiceis really fucking with my head.
“What do I do, Mom?” I look up at her, tears glistening my eyes. I need her. I just need her so bad.
She’s silent, tapping her chin with her pointer finger as she stares at me.
“You get rid of it.”
And any hope for advice plummets to the ground.
“What?” I whisper.
She slaps her hands down at her sides. “You get rid of the fucking baby, Cara. What the hell you doin’, getting’ pregnant anyway? You know better! Haven’t I taught you anything over the years?”
“No, you haven’t.”
She scowls at me. “Quit bein’ a bitch. I’ve been there for you my entire life, stayin’ in one place my whole life just so you could have some stability.”
“Stability?” I scoff. “Okay.”
She scowls at me. “I’m bein’ serious, Cara. You get rid of that baby before it’s too late. The only thing it’ll do is run you into the ground.Trust me.” Fucking hell, I hate this woman so much. “You go tell them to get that baby out of you before it ruins your life. If not, you’ll end up just like me.Stuck. Is that what you want, Cara?” Tears streaming down my face, I shake my head at her. No, I want to benothinglike her. “You’ll be nothin’ but a corner whore just like the rest of ‘em. Slingin’ drinks downstairs or working down the block takin’ your clothes off for dollar bills, livin’ paycheck to paycheck and goin’ hungry at night cause you have to feed the little monster. Is the dad in the picture?”