Trish cries beside me, but I keep my focus. Hoping for something. Anything.
Please.
Nothing.
My eyes pop open, and I look over at Neil. “She’s gone.”
His jaw clenches and he looks away from her, off into the distance. “We better get back to camp.”
Trish shuffles around, the rocks noisy beneath her. “I’m not leaving her here!” Her voice echoes into the distance.
He looks down, not passing Shauna a glance as he stares at Trish. “Who’s going to carry her, huh? We’re all fucking dehydrated. Unless you want one of us to have a heat stroke and a seizure, too? Huh?” His arms go wide, splaying out at his sides.
We all stare at him, the sun barely illuminating his outline. We’re all shrouded in the dark at this point, all visibility on this mountain gone.
I look down at Shauna, tucking her brown hair behind her ear. Trish brings her hands up, placing her palms over her eyes and closing them. I sniffle, feeling like tears need to release myself, but I’m all dried up.
“Can we move her, at least?” I whisper, staring down at Shauna’s peaceful face. I didn’t know her, not really. I don’t know much about her parents, or her life. I just know she’s from somewhere in Virginia. She was a free spirit. A really cool chick. We got along well.
I hear footsteps around me, and Willie and Neil come up, Willie grabbing her feet and Neil grabbing her arms. They lift her, her body in the shape of a U as they bring her up against the mountain. They prop her up, settling her behind some brush.
“I feel like we need to bury her or something,” Trish cries.
Willie shakes his head. “We don’t have the energy. We need to get back before another one of us goes down.”
We all stare at Shauna, knowing that he’s right, but wishing it weren’t true. We’re too tired, too dehydrated to do anything else. We need to get back to camp, and we need to get back now.
With one last glance at Shauna, we turn around, continuing on our hike, each of us dehydrated, but the sun lowering and the moon raising gives us a much-needed cool blast of air.
My body aches, my mind weeps. But I keep going.
For him.
CHAPTER TWENTY
ROMAN
My knee shakes, the white notebook on my lap sliding off the side. My hand snaps out and catches it, only for me to set it back on my lap, and the process starts all over again.
I'm fucking edgy.
My words won't come today. I feel lost and confused.
Last night I had the weirdest dream.
I dreamt of Luna. She was sad. She was so sad and fucking broken, and she was just staring at me. Staring at me like she desperately needed help. The pleading in her eyes was gut-wrenching. She needed saving, wherever she was, whatever she was doing, she needed me.
I know that in the pit of my soul.
I look into the night, the California sky absent of any and all stars. The city is loud, polluted, always busy. I fucking hate it, if I were to be honest. I hate the noise, and I hate the people.
This is getting old.
I don’t know what I want anymore. But that’s a lie, because I do know what I want.
I want her.
I look up at the sky, my neck aching as I stare into the darkness.