I squeeze my hands around his arms, clutching him tightly as he pulls away from me.
"I don't want you to go," I say suddenly.
He grabs onto my hands, releasing them from his arms. He brings them to his lips, giving them a kiss before dropping them at my sides. "I'll call you when I arrive, Luna. I'm always here with you. Always."
"Now and always," I cry.
He steps back, and his parents walk up to him, wrapping him in another hug as they walk him to the car. My knees feel weak again, and this time they do collapse. I fall to the ground, and my mom is there suddenly, wrapping her arms around me as Roman gets in the car.
He gives me a sad look, so tortured. Like he wants to come help me, but he knows.
The moment he comes back to me, he'll be here to stay.
The van turns on, and I cry, gripping the grass beneath my fingers and pulling with all my might. The roots rip out, blades of grass and dirt littering my fingers and embedding beneath my nails.
He pulls out of his driveway, giving me a small wave and a broken-hearted look. Then he goes blurry, as the tears flood my eyes again and he disappears down the road. My sobs turn into screams as he leaves. Roman's parents, Nora, and my mom and dad help me up, bringing me to my room and tucking me in bed.
I cry for hours.
I cry for days.
He’s gone.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LUNA
1995
Red hats float in the air above me, suspended for seconds while cheering and clapping ensues around me. I stare up at the ceiling, watching my square hat fly back down to me. It’s a wave of red gowns, a sea of blood in the claustrophobic gym.
This is it.
Graduation day.
I catch my cap from the air, picking up the soft tassel and setting it on the opposite side. Everyone starts to vacate their folding chairs, the feet creaking and groaning, banging loudly against the next one as everyone moves too fast, too eager. Their gowns float around them as they walk toward their friends and family.
"Congratulations, Class of 1995!" The principal says from the podium. Everyone is already off, though, and I watch my classmates around me with their bright smiles and tears in their eyes as they're finally finished with one of the biggest milestones of their lives.
Nora runs up to me, her arms extended so she looks like a red bat as she wraps me in a hug, squeezing me tight. "We did it! We did it!" she screeches. A wave of her fruity perfume slaps me in the face. I hug her back, laughing and smiling, even though a part of me feels empty, lacking.
Half of me, actually.
I look up at our families, seeing Nora's parents sitting next to mine. Harper and her boyfriend sit beside my mom. She waves at me, and I wave back, my eyes jumping to the empty seat next to Cypress.
The spot where Roman was supposed to be.
Only he's not.
I promised myself I wouldn't cry today, and I'm trying too hard to keep that promise. Even though beneath my gown feels broken, like any misstep and I may shatter into a thousand pieces.
I bite my lip as Nora pulls me along. Our families get up from their seats, walking down the metal steps to meet us on the gym floor. The entire auditorium echoes, the voices bouncing off the walls and the clacking of heels so noisy it feels like I’m in a tunnel.
My dad has me wrapped in a hug the next moment, lifting me off my heels and spinning me around. "I can't believe my baby girl is all grown up." His voice is clogged with emotion.
A tear springs to my eyes, and I wipe it away once he puts me down, smiling up at him. I can't think of any words to say, my entire mind is scrambled and a little fractured.
"What's the matter, baby?" my mom asks, brushing her fingers through my straight hair.