I'm onthemountain.
The wind blows around me, a swirling tornado. It's dark this time. Like I'm on top of the mountain at night. Looking up, the sky looks identical to the night sky at the beach with Roman and I. Completely identical. But when I look down, I'm not at the beach.
I'm on the mountain. The cliff.
The sand blows as always, making my eyes burn and my skin ache. I instantly start crying, because I don't want to be on the mountain tonight. I never want to be on the mountain, but tonight especially.
I want to go back to the bed with Roman, where he can keep me safe and protect me. I want to cry in his arms and never leave. I want to beg him to stay and not leave tomorrow, but I know I have to.
So right now, I don't want to be on the mountain. I just want to be in the hotel with Roman.
I look behind me, down the trail. A place I've never been or had the opportunity to explore. I'm always on the edge of the cliff, watching the waters churn below. Angry. They'realwaysangry.
I walk away from the edge of the cliff, but the sand doesn't let me, pulling me back, a huge gust of wind knocking me toward the tip of the sharp rock.
I fight against the tornado-like winds, attempting to push through it. To escape. Now more than ever, I just want to escape this nightmare.
But the winds won't let me.
I try to sprint, doing my best to break free, but it's as if the wind and the sand have hands, turning me around and plunging me over the edge.
I shoot up in bed, a sob breaking from my chest as my nightmare comes back to haunt me.
Again.
Roman sits up a moment later, his hand going to my back. "The mountain?"
I cry, "And the sea. Again. The cliff." I can't make out my words coherently, but Roman gives my shoulder a squeeze, knowing exactly what I'm talking about. He pulls me down, bringing the blanket to our chins and snuggling us back in tight.
"You're not on the cliff. You're here. With me. I'll always keep you safe." He presses a kiss to the back of my neck. "Try and get some sleep."
My chest shakes with fear. With terror of my nightmare. In fear of Roman leaving. I cry silent tears as Roman falls back asleep. It takes me a while, but I finally succumb to a dreamless sleep. My eyes flutter closed, and I slip into nothingness.
My eyes crack open, burning and feeling swollen. My nose is plugged, but I know it's because I fell asleep a wreck last night. I grab a tissue from the box on the side of the bed, blowing my nose and wiping my eyes before I turn around.
Roman sits with a pair of jeans and nothing else on. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stares out the window. He doesn't move, or flinch, or say anything. Even knowing I'm awake, he does nothing besides stare out the window.
I slide out of the covers, crawling across the bed to him. I wrap my arms around his neck, settling my chin on his naked shoulder. "Good morning." I press a kiss to his cheek.
He doesn't turn toward me.
"I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can leave you,” he murmurs.
My heart shatters. I know it's today. I knew before I even woke up that today is the day. I would do anything to go back to yesterday. But I know I don't have that power.
But I can't let him make a mistake.
"You can't stay. You know you can't."
He turns to me, finally looking me in the eyes. His face is stricken, his skin pale and white. He looks ill as he stares at me, with big bags beneath his eyes and his hair a mess, as if he's spent all morning with his hands in his hair.
"I can't leave you, Luna. I never knew why I thought I could do it. Because I can't."
"Yes, you can." I crawl around him until I'm sitting on his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck, burrowing my head beneath his chin. I can hear his heavy, broken heart without even pressing an ear against his chest. "This is your dream, Roman. I'll wait for you. On our small lake in the middle of Wisconsin, I'll be waiting for you. I'll dance every day and think of you. I'll look out on the crystal lake every morning and think of you. There's nothing that I won't do for the next three hundred and sixty-five days that isn't going to involve you being on my mind. You will be. In my heart. In my soul. Every second. Every moment. Every minute. Every day. You, and only you."
His face breaks, pure torment filling his eyes and screwing up his mouth in pain. "Fuck, I love you so much, Luna." He crushes his mouth against mine and I kiss him back with vigor, plastering myself against his body and getting as close to him as I possibly can.
I have only hours.