Relief, maybe.
Happiness.
Excitement.
I've wanted this boy since I was six years old, and here I am today. Finally going to be his girlfriend. Is this elation? This tugging in my chest? It almost feels like it's breaking, and I can't help but want to clutch my chest to stop the ache.
"Say something, would you?" He laughs.
I laugh too, the sound watery and garbled as tears clog my throat. "Yes. Yes, I will."
"Oh, thank fuck." His fingers thread through my hair, pulling me to him, as he finally, finally presses his lips against mine.
He kisses like he's practiced, even though I know he hasn't. I'm his first kiss, just as much as he is mine. He takes control, his lips swallowing my bottom lip, and then my top. Not too wet, not too dry. Perfect. I barely peek my tongue out, and he takes that as an invitation to slide his tongue against mine. I bring my hands up, clutching his shoulders.
I want him.
I want all of him.
This need swallows me, heating me up below the belly. A feeling I've never experienced before, but one I've heard of from girls at school. One kiss from Roman and I’m turning into a raging fire, one that can't be put out.
My hands move from his shoulders to the back of his hair, threading through the messy strands and pulling on them.
He grunts.
We kiss until my tongue hurts, my jaw hurts, and I can literally feel the dampness drenching my panties between my thighs.
Knock, knock, knock.
Roman rips himself off me, flinging himself back so he's lying on my bed. My eyes widen when I see the bulge between his pants. He notices my look too, and he cringes, sitting up and hunching over just as my door opens and my mom walks in.
"Oh! Roman! I didn't know you were here."
"He came through the window, Mom." I hope like hell she can't tell something just happened between us. My cheeks are surely flaming red.
Both Roman and my parents have known that we sneak through each other's windows since, well, forever. It didn't take them long to figure it out, and back then we were so little they knew nothing would come of it.
Now, though, I'm starting to wonder if my mom might say something about it. Or make some weird rules.
"Did you open your present?" My mom directs her question to Roman. His face softens from his shocked look and he opens his fist, revealing the small pick still sitting in the center of his palm. "What do you think?" she asks.
He swallows, and I watch as his Adam's apple bobs a few times. "Best gift I've ever gotten."
My mom's face softens to the point she looks like she's going to cry. I intervene before she does so. "Look what Roman got me." I walk up to her, lifting the pair of ballet slippers. She grabs it, laying it on her palm as she looks at it.
"Wow," she whispers. This time her eyes water, and she blinks them away before they can fall. Suddenly, she steps back and clears her throat. "Don't stay too late, Roman."
She smiles at us, giving me abe smartlook.
Once she shuts the door, Roman looks over at me with aholy shitlook on his face.
"That was close." I giggle, pressing my knee on the mattress. I'm seconds from hopping on top of him when he slides off the bed quickly, standing up on the opposite side of the bed and putting his hands in the air.
"No. That wastooclose." He takes a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. "I better go." I look down at his waist, seeing the bulge gone from his jeans.
An ache starts in my chest at the thought of him leaving already. "You're leaving? Already?"
He walks around the foot of the bed, stopping when the toes of his black socks touch my bare feet. "Only until tomorrow." He leans down, pressing his lips to mine again. "I just don't want to get caught." Another kiss. "Not today, at least." I smirk against his lips, and I feel his teeth. He's smirking, too.