I turn toward him, my eyes dry from the cool air and wet at the same time. "Tell me."
"Loving you is like breathing too much air and being deprived of air at the same time. Loving you is watching the time going by and wishing it could stop, just so I could spend just an extra moment with you. Loving you is painful, because every ounce of torment you've ever been through in your life I can feel. I see you, Luna, but I also see through you. I see your scars, I see your pain." His hand brushes across my face, across my chilled cheekbones. "But I also see your beauty, and you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my entire life. Your gray eyes have been engrained into me. I could spend the rest of my life sitting next to you. Watching you breathe, watching you dance. I want for nothing; I need for nothing. Not when I have you."
He drops his hand, taking a step back from me. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a small white box, barely noticeable dwarfed in his hand, but I see it, and it makes me gasp. My hand goes up to my mouth as he drops to his knee. Looking up at me, he continues, "You are pain, Luna, and you are beauty. But more than anything else in the world, you are mine. And I want to spend the rest of the seconds and minutes and years that we have, together. I don't want another wasted moment. You've been mine before I knew what love was. Be mine now, and tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives." Taking a deep breath, his voice grows raspy. "Will you marry me, Luna?"
My legs give out and I fall to my knees, the bones slamming into the rocky ground. My chest can't catch enough air, even with my gasps. Tears fall down my cheeks, blowing away in the wind. I can barely breathe, even when Roman has just filled me up with all the air in the world.
He waits patiently, watching me as he cracks the box open.
All it does is make me sob harder. The most beautiful ring sits cushioned in the middle of the box. The diamonds glimmer off the cliff, the sun, the ocean, my fucking soul. I want to reach out and touch it, but another part of me doesn't even want to breathe on it.
"I will…" I breathe in a shaky breath, my words coming out choked and strangled. "I will marry you, Roman. Now and Always."
"Thank fuck." He leans forward, grabbing onto my cheeks, smashing his lips against mine. I kiss him, giving him my entire life, my heart, my soul. Every kiss from him gives me life, heals my bones, pieces together the shattered parts of me that only he can heal.
"I love you, Luna," he says. Leaning back from me, he slides the ring from the box and grabs my left hand, pushing the ring over my finger. It fits perfectly, snug beneath my knuckle. I tilt my hand back and forth, watching the diamonds glimmer in the sun.
"I love you, too, Roman. Now and always."
I walk into our hotel room, listening as Roman slides the chain of the lock on our door. I slide my coat from my arms, draping it over the small table in the corner of the room. I can feel his presence before he even touches me. His feet are silent as he crosses the room, and then his breath is on my neck. He grabs my hair, pulling it over my shoulder, and kisses the space between my neck and my shoulder, his lips light, brushing. I close my eyes, tipping my head to the side to give him better access.
His hand goes to the collar of my shirt, pulling it over my shoulder. It drapes down my bicep, showing off the top of my cleavage. I inhale, feeling his heat and love surround me. His hand trails down, hitting the hem of my shirt. His fingers slip beneath it, running across my bare stomach. My skin twitches, and his fingers splay out, covering my entire belly.
He pushes on my stomach, turning me around slowly. I face him, tilting my head back so I can look him in the eyes. There's no smile on his lips, no laughter, no hesitations. He's sure. He's here.
He clings to the bottom of my shirt, and I lift my arms. He pulls it up, over my head, and his fingers release as he drops the fabric to the ground. I lift my hand behind my back, ready to unclasp my bra. His hand goes up, grabbing onto my wrist. Barely a flinch of his head, only a slight shake. I drop my hand to my side, and his snakes around my back. With a flick, my bra loosens. His fingers go to the straps, sliding them down my arms, the tips of his fingers sliding down my skin as they go.
He grabs the bra as it falls off my wrist, tossing it aside.
His hands go under my arms, behind my back, pressing his palms against my skin. My chest hits his, and my hands go to his biceps, my fingers wrapping around the muscles.
His mouth comes to mine, hovering above my lips. Not kissing me, just breathing me in. The emotions are heavy, and I swallow them down. We barely spoke on our hike down the mountain or in the cab on the way home. Too happy, too caught up in our emotions. My heart feels so full, so much like it's about to crack.
Now the emotions are getting to me. I feel emotional. My love hurts. I love Roman too much. It consumes me, and I want nothing but to be swept up in his love. I need him, more than I need my own heart, I think. That thought alone terrifies me, but if I were to be honest, I've known it all along.
"I love you," he mouths against my lips.
"I love you," I whisper.
I bring my arms down to his waist, pulling his shirt up, bringing my hands along his warm back, pressing and digging my fingers into the hard muscles. He grabs his shirt at the waist, pulling it over his head in one quick swoop. Then he's against me again, our warmth mixing.
A tear leaks out of my eye, and he wipes it away. Bringing his other hand below my butt, circling around, he lifts me off the ground. He takes a few steps forward, until his knees hit the bed. He climbs on, laying me down below him. My hair splays out on the floral comforter and the reddish pillows below my head. His fingers go to the button of my jeans, and he pops it free, sliding my zipper down.
I lift my hips, and he curls his fingers beneath my jeans, pulling them down my thighs, sliding them off my legs so, so slowly. They slip off my feet, and he drops them over the edge of the bed. His head goes down to my toes, kissing the bruises and scrapes. He moves up slowly, kissing my ankle, my shin, my inner thighs, his lips brushing so lightly, just a kiss against my skin. Feather-light.
I can barely breathe, every time his lips touch my skin, he lights me on fire, stealing my breaths as he goes. He kisses me over my underwear, his fingers going beneath the fabric, and he slips them down my legs.
Then I'm bare for him.
"So beautiful," he rasps. It's low, full of all the emotions I'm feeling.
He goes back down, pressing his lips against my hip bones, my flat stomach, my ribs, my breasts. His other hand glides up my side, his fingers dancing along my skin softly. So lightly. He kisses my neck, my jaw, my cheek, my lips, barely passing by before he grabs my left hand, lifting it in front of us. He kisses my fingers, my palm, my knuckles. He kisses the ring, closing his eyes against it as he breathes, taking a big breath before looking at me. "I love you."
"I love you," I whisper.
He comes back down, grabbing his wallet before pushing his pants and boxers over his hips, kicking them off the bed. Grabbing a condom from his wallet, he's about to tear it open when I press my hand over his. "Let me."
I slide it from his fingers, ripping it open. He leans up, his erection long and hard against his abs. Larger than from when we were young. Manlier, with a small patch of clean hair that leads from his belly button down to his erection. I grab his hardness with my hand, pumping it, just as he taught me all those years ago.