"I'll save the fun things for you." I don't want to tell him, because I don't know if I'll go through with it. But I'd like to make my way down to Julliard. I don't know if I'll be able to step inside, or even talk to anyone, but being able to look at the place of my dreams in the face will be a big enough step for me, I think.
"I'll be back as soon as I can. I'll leave a key on the counter." He walks up to me, his clothes in hand as he bends down, pressing a kiss to my lips. I deepen it, slipping my tongue in his mouth. I feel so broken after Hawaii, but every moment with Roman is giving me back a piece of myself that I've lost. He's healing me, just by being in his presence.
He peels away from me way too soon, stepping back with a grimace. "I've really got to…"
"Go, go." I wave him off, and he dresses as quick as he can, pulling a pair of jeans on and yanking his t-shirt over his head. He gives me one more glance before he rushes out the front door.
I fall back onto my pillow, looking at the ceiling. So much has happened over the course of the last few days. My entire life has taken a one-eighty. The darkness that has been seeping into my bones for the past five years has lifted and brightened with just Roman's presence. It makes me hate myself a little more, to be honest.
It makes my decision to leave in the first place that much more foolish. Why did I ruin something when it was so perfect? Was my immaturity and need to become independent that important? Was it even necessary? Why couldn't I just let things be as they were?
Leaving Roman was the biggest mistake of my life. I just hope for what it's worth, we can earn back the time we've lost.
Now for my next step.
I roll over in bed, taking the phone off the receiver. I stare at the buttons, taking a deep breath as I punch in the numbers I know by heart. The number that's been ingrained in me since I was seven years old. My finger twirls around the spiral cord, watching it suction against my skin as I listen to the loud ringing.
"Roman?" My mom's voice comes over the phone, surprised. Happy.
"Hi, Mom." Tears spring to my eyes, the sheets below me fill with tear-shaped droplets.
Her sharp intake of breath, followed by a small cry, "Luna?" she cries. "Oh my gosh! Charlie, Luna's on the phone!"
I hear shuffling as I try to quiet my cries. A moment later, I hear another phone pick up.
"Luna? Is that you, baby?"
"Hi, Daddy," I cry, a smile splitting across my face.
"Luna? Where are you? Are you with Roman?"
I nod my head. "No. I mean, yes, but he's at work right now. I am in New York, though."
My mom starts crying hysterically, and I can hear my dad calming her down from the other end of the phone. It breaks my heart, tears me in half. I did this. I did this to my parents.
"When… when did you get there?" Dad asks, tears in his voice.
"Yesterday. Roman got me a ticket." I wipe my face with my sheets, feeling overwhelmed with too many emotions.
"I don't understand. Goldie says you guys haven't spoken in years. How did you get ahold of him?"
There's no way I can possibly tell them what happened in Hawaii. They would fall to pieces. They would never forgive themselves, even though not an inch of it is their fault. They mean too much to me. I will not break their hearts.
"I was just ready to come home. I called Nora… I'm sorry I didn't call sooner."
"Home…" my mom's voice trails off.
A pinch in my chest stings, and I rub away the pain. I know home is Wisconsin. It will always be my home. But they also have to know, home is wherever Roman Hall is.
"Roman…"
"We know, Luna. We know," my dad says, and it only makes another flood of tears trail down my cheeks. I tear the phone away from my ear, burying my face in the crook of my arm.
They know. They've always known.
Everyone has.
"I'm so glad you're back with him. I'm so happy, Luna. You don't know how happy this makes me," my mom cries.