I wish for peace. I wish for the waves to roll over me and carry me out to the sea. I'd rather drown than have this.
I'd rather haveanythingthan have this.
I can hear rustling on top of me, and then he's there. Pressing against me. Pushing between my legs. My hands reach forward, clutching the sand, squeezing it between my fingers. The sand packs beneath my fingernails until I feel pressure. It hurts. It hurts between my legs. My chest hurts. My entire body hurts.
My heart hurts.
Whatever was left of my already fractured soul shatters, floating into the ocean, far, far away from me.
I feel empty. I feel numb.
It burns as he sinks in, grunting above me. His breath is hot against the back of my neck. It feels like the centipede, slithering across my skin. I squeeze my eyes shut, hating the feeling of him inside of me.I don't want this. Yet he doesn't care.
"Doesn't this feel good?" he grunts behind me. "It almost feels like it did in Santa Cruz, huh? Underneath the stars. High on acid?"
My body tenses.
It tenses so stiffly that he pauses on top of me, but only for a second. Then he settles back in, continuing his slow pumping. "Oh, yeah. That's right. You were passed out last time. Sleeping on the forest grass while I fucked you. People watched, too. They enjoyed it. Seeing you. Your beauty. You're sofucking beautiful, Luna."
I bite my lip until blood leaks between my teeth, dripping into the sand.
He defiled me. Like a fucking animal.
He raped me then.
He's raping me now.
He keeps pumping, unaware of my boiling body beneath him. He thinks I've submitted to him. He thinks I've given up.
My hand swings back, my knuckles hitting him directly in the nose. He flings back, letting out a shout. But that's all I need.
I shove to my knees, flying to my feet. And I'm off. Sprinting into the water. No destination in mind. I just need to get away. Get as far away from him as I possibly can.
I dive into the waves, my dress pooling around me in the cold, as I slice through the black water.
Sounds are muted.
Smells are muted.
The world is muted beneath the water. I open my mouth.
And I scream.
Bubbles float up from my mouth as I sink to the ground, pure horror filling every inch of me. I only have a moment, though, because in the next, my hair is pulled, and I'm yanked to the surface.
"Bitch," he gasps, his wet face dripping with water. "Why the fuck did you do that for?" Blood mixes with water as it dribbles down his face, spilling out of his nose in a constant flow.
I put my feet against his stomach, pushing off from him. His hand is tangled in my hair, and the threads break from my scalp. I let out a scream, falling back under the water.
Then he does it.
His hand goes to my neck, grasping the chain that is as much a part of me as my heart is, andhe pulls.
I feel the clasp release on the back of my neck, and my eyes shoot open under the water. I can barely see Willie, the dark night and the dark waters making him only an outline, but I can see my gold chain as it floats in the water in his grip. I rush toward it, my tears mixing with the salty water as I swim after him.
No. No, please, no.
His arm reaches out, grappling for my waist. I reach for the ends of my necklace, and my fingers wrap around the gold that shines in the dark. I clasp the slippery pieces, and I pull.Hard.