Tanner clenches his jaw and grabs one of his textbooks off his desk and launches it at the closed door. We hear Riley’s gasp followed by a booming laugh as he takes off down the hall, and the moment his laugh fades away and we’re truly alone, a strange tension fills the air.
Tanner leans back against his desk, bracing himself as I stand awkwardly in the middle of his room. I don’t say a word, but the weight of his stare is enough to drive me insane. I can’t do this. There’s too much to talk through, and I’m not even a little bit ready.
Turning on my heel, I storm toward his private bathroom and glance up at the small window above the toilet. Maybe Riley isn’t as bright as he thinks he is. It’ll be tight, but with the right amount of wriggling, I should be able to free myself from this hell. It won’t be my finest hour, but it’s better than being trapped in here with Tanner.
Now, the only question is, how the hell do I get up there? Stupid rich people and their high ceilings. I might just be able to reach it by standing on the toilet, but even then, I probably don’t have the strength to haul myself up and through it. Hell, not to mention what will happen when I reach the other side. Am I setting myself up to fall to my death?
What have I got to lose?
Bracing my hand against the cold tiles, I step onto the toilet and reach up to the window, only just managing to get my fingers around the bottom of the glass to open it.
“Really?” Tanner asks. “That’s your grand plan?”
“Better than being trapped in here with you.”
“Me being the donkey fucker?”
Rolling my eyes, I glance back over my shoulder at the asshole, hating just how good he looks as he braces himself against the doorframe with just a sliver of skin showing at the bottom of his shirt. My mouth waters. I hate how attracted I am to him. If he wasn’t my cup of tea, hating him would come so much easier. “Shut up about the donkey fucker. It’s all I could think of, but if you prefer, I could go back to calling you jockstrap. Take your pick.”
Tanner groans. “Would you get down from there? You’re going to fall.”
“Oh, that’s nice you actually care. And here I was thinking that I’m just some bitch you fuck every now and then,” I say, repeating his insults from the track.
Tanner sighs and pushes off the doorframe before striding toward me. He reaches up and curls his arms around me, yanking me off the top of the toilet before moving to the counter and dropping my ass to the edge of the expensive marble. He pushes between my legs, his big fingers curling around the back of my neck and forcing my eyes to his.
Silence surrounds us as I’m left to drown in his intense stare. My heart races and I know I’m going to break. He’s too much, too important. How did I let him become my world like this?
Tanner’s thumb trails along the side of my jaw, and all I can think about is the way he held me in his arms last night. I didn’t ask him to come over, but he did anyway. He knew how much I needed him, and despite everything, he was still there for me. Despite everything … he owns my heart.
“Tanner,” I whisper, reaching up and stopping his thumb from moving across my jaw, feeling the seriousness of our situation weighing down on me, all insults and jokes aside. “We can’t do this. You’re going to break me, and I … I can’t handle it. I won’t survive it.”
He shakes his head, refusing to accept this is over, and honestly, I don’t want him to. I want him to fight for us because, as much as I know we won’t work together, I also know living without him might just hurt me more. I’m not ready to give up on this, even though I know I should. “Don’t say that,” he says, moving in even closer so that our bodies are pressed together, his heart beating right alongside mine. “What I said at the track, you have to know I didn’t mean it. You and me … you’re so much more to me than just the new girl next door, and I’ll do whatever it takes for you to understand that.”
“Tanner …”
“Don’t give up on us,” he begs. “I know we never had the big defining conversation and put a title on what this is, but I know you feel it just as much as I do. You know this is real and I’m not ready for it to be over. I’m not giving up. Give me a chance, Killer. Let me make it up to you. I fucked up out on that track. I should have leaned on you. I should have trusted that you would be able to ground me like you did that night on my bike, but instead, I wanted everyone to hurt like I was, and in that moment, nothing else mattered. I couldn’t control myself. All I could see was Addison in the hospital and everything inside of me broke.”