Page 25 of Committed Cowboy

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Janie sits with me, as I eat the food Violet packed. She tells me how she and Carter met. When she tells me about Carter throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her out of a bar, I laugh so hard, that tears form in my eyes.

Their love story is so cute. How he thought he was tricking her into marrying him, but she was in love with him, anyway. She goes on to tell me about some of the other ranchers in town that she suspects Violet had a hand in fixing up in one way or another.

By the time my dad and Carter get back, I feel like I've known Janie forever, and she promises to check back in on me in a few days. I hope to hang out with her because I need more local friends.

Once they leave, I look over at my dad.

"I've always liked Carter. I'm glad to see him settled down. You look a bit better, too. I think some girl time is what you needed," Dad says.

"I think so, too. For a little while, I was able to put aside the thoughts of being stuck in a hospital. It was nice. Plus, I really like Janie, and getting to know her better, took my mind off of things."

That's when a doctor steps in. I recognize him because he's been in here a few times.

"Any changes?" I ask him.

He gives me the same sad, pitiful smile that the nursing staff has mastered. So, I know without him even having to say a word, that nothing has changed. We are still waiting.

"No, we don't see any changes other than he’s healing, and there’s no infection from the cuts we stitched up. So, that's good news. It's not uncommon for the brain to shut down, after a traumatic event like this. The body has its own way of healing itself. I wish I could give you a time for when he will wake up, but if I'm honest, it could be in an hour or a few more days. We just don't know."

I want to yell and scream 'what do you mean you don't know,' but deep down, I know this isn't his fault, and he's trying the best he can. So, I paste on that fake smile I've used, since I walked into this building and nod. I wait for him to leave, and when he does, the wall I hide behind falls.

I look over at my dad, and he seems as frustrated as I am.

"I'm going to step out into the hallway for a minute," I say and walk out of the door.

The moment I'm in the hallway, I lean against the wall. It sucks seeing him like this, but it would be so much easier if he would just wake up, and let me know he's okay because the not knowing is the worst.

I can handle the cuts and scrapes, and I can deal with him having to be on bed rest, with managing medications, doctors’ appointments, and even physical therapy. If only he would just wake up, I can handle everything else. I have so much to say, and not being able to say it, is killing me.

I shouldn't have waited. That night I should have gone after him, and not let him put this distance between us. Instead of spending the day with Becca, I should have been on the ranch, fighting for him. All the things I wish I could have changed, run through my mind over and over, as I sit here and wait. It's slowly driving me mad.

Taking a deep breath, a passing nurse asks if I'm okay. I give her the false smile and nod. I hate lying to them, but I'm sure they’re used to it.

Then, I hear the most beautiful sound in the world.

My name.


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