I looked up at him, stunned into silence.
“Just hear me out on this. Ty’s been fighting some serious demons the last few years, ever since the accident. He’s missed that world—no one can argue that. After the accident, when he was told he would never get on a bull again, something inside him changed. We all saw it. Then the pain replaced the sadness, and he got lost in the pain-pill addiction. Something in him has changed again over this last year.”
I looked down at the ground, only to have Dirk place his finger on my chin and lift my eyes to his. “You are what has changed him, and I know that scares him.”
“Why?” I asked, my voice sounding wobbly. I hated sounding weak.
“You make him feel something he hasn’t ever felt before. The old Ty would have had a beautiful woman on his arm tonight, then would have left early to most likely fuck her and walk away. Brock told me Ty hasn’t been hooking up with anyone, not since you walked into his life.”
“I don’t know what to do, Dirk. I don’t know if my heart can take another heartbreak. When I lost John, I lost a part of myself to a dark pit of sadness, regret, and blame, and I thought I’d never crawl out of it.”
“But you did.”
“With a lot of help from my therapist.”
“Ty is stuck in his own personal hell. He’s already lost the one thing that he thought made him who he was. Bull riding. Now imagine a part of him coming to life again, and you’re the reason. He’s probably scared shitless. And the Shaw brothers are not ones who like feeling scared.”
I smiled and let a soft chuckle free. “How do you know he feels that way toward me?”
Dirk tossed his head back and laughed. “All you have to do is look at the poor bastard when you’re anywhere near him. He can’t keep his eyes off of you, Kaylee. And tonight he looked like he wanted to rip Channing’s head off when you were dancing with him. Hell, I thought I was gonna get punched when he realized you were my date.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “He said he doesn’t want a relationship, but I know he feels the same thing I feel. I know he does.”
A smile slowly grew over Dirk’s face. “Then what are you going to do about it?”
With a deep breath, I stood up taller, then lifted my chin. “I’m going to let him go.”
Dirk raised his brow. “Really? I kind of figured you were going to say you were going to go after him.”
With a shake of my head, I said, “No. Ty needs to do this. If being away from bull riding is what’s keeping him locked away, then maybe this is what he needs. I won’t keep him from that.”
“And you?”
“What about me?”
“Will you wait for him . . . or will you move on?”
I didn’t answer him, and he looked over my head, out at the lake. He took in a breath and then slowly let it out before he focused back on me. “The circuit is filled with women throwing themselves at us. You know that, right?”
“Are you trying to tell me Ty is going to be sleeping around?”
He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “I don’t want you getting hurt, Kaylee. I care about you as a friend, and Ty is my friend also, but I remember the days when Ty would have women practically falling at his feet. If he thinks you’ve moved on, he’s going to—”
I held up my hand. “I get what you’re trying to say. I don’t need to hear it out loud.”
“Okay, but, sweetheart, you need to ready yourself if it does happen.”
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I turned and faced the lake. The mountains reflected off the water, and it was one of the most beautiful sights I’d ever seen. The peacefulness was almost too much to take in. I could have stayed out there for hours, just watching the ripples of water as the wind blew. The view was more serene than anything that was going on in my own head, after all.
I wrapped my arms around my body and fought off the chill that was making me tremble. Or maybe it was something else altogether different that had my body shaking. Whatever it was, I was going to leave it up to fate to figure out, because I suddenly felt too exhausted to even think about it.
Chapter Nineteen
TY
I sat across the table as Sam waited for my answer.
“This weekend? In Billings?” I asked.
“Yes. You’ve been in front of the camera plenty of times, Ty. You know how it works. Give it a test run,” Sam said.