My eyes widened. “Wow. What do you think he’ll do?”
He smirked. “That depends. Is there something going on between you two?”
I swallowed hard. Then shook my head. “No. Nothing.”
Dirk lifted his brows, evidently not missing the sadness in my voice. “Nothing?”
“We slept together, but Ty told me the rules . . . he’s not interested in being in a relationship.”
Both of our horses decided they were tired of standing there and started down the trail again.
“You know he’s just lost in himself. I don’t really know any other way to explain it. Bull riding for Ty was exactly how it is for me. It’s my life, the dream I always envisioned I’d live. If it was ripped away from me like it was from Ty, I honestly think I’d lose myself as well. He thinks he’s broken and unrepairable.”
I chewed on my bottom lip before I replied. “I understand that. I do. I don’t think he’s broken, though. I think he’s scared, but I saw something in his eyes when we were together, Dirk. A longing for something more, and I felt this connection between us. If I’m being honest, I think I felt it the first time he smiled at me. I don’t want to fix him, because I don’t think he’s broken. The man that he is, is the man I . . .”
My voice trailed off.
“The man you love?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head before turning back to focus on Dirk. “Do you think if he took this position it would help him to let go of some of the pain and hurt he’s holding on to?”
“Hell, I don’t know, Kaylee. I honestly don’t know. I think it’s more than just the bull riding. There’s something else Ty is holding on to. Something that makes him fear allowing something good to come into his life. Maybe he thinks if he’s happy, the rug will be ripped out from under him, and he’s not sure he’s capable of another sucker punch like that.”
“And that is no way to live your life.”
“I agree,” Dirk said.
“If the roles were reversed and it were you in Ty’s shoes, would you take the CBS gig?”
Dirk thought for a moment as the horses made their way down the path in a lazy trot. “Honestly, if it were me, and there wasn’t anyone holding me back, I’d do it. I’d want to be immersed in the world, because I fucking love it. But, at the same time, if I met someone who made me feel something I haven’t ever felt before, then that would change things. I may not want the type of life Brock has, but that doesn’t mean I don’t dream of it one day. One day . . . far, far away.”
I nodded and smiled at the same time.
“Listen. Stella and Ty Senior’s thirtieth wedding anniversary is tomorrow night. There’s going to be a big party. Why don’t you go with me, as my date?”
Tilting my head, I gave him a hard look. “Your date? You do know I’m not sleeping with you, right?”
He laughed. “Let me rephrase it—go with me as friends. It will be fun.”
I didn’t want to tell Dirk that I had been secretly hoping Ty would ask me to go with him. It was stupid to even wish it, but I had let my silly heart dare to believe he might. It was tomorrow night, so the chances of Ty asking me at the eleventh hour were slim to none.
“Tanner will be back in town. I was sorta holding out for him to ask me,” I replied with a wink.
Dirk threw his head back in a fit of laughter, which in turn made me laugh. It felt good to laugh and smile.
“Damn those Shaw boys.”
“I’d love to go with you, but you do know it’s going to be fancy? Stella is going all out, and I’m the one who’s been in charge of getting it all put together. It’s formal.”
“I heard that rumor. Looks like you’re starting to become quite the party planner in Hamilton.”
Lifting my shoulder in a half shrug, I replied, “I have done a party or two.”
He smiled. “Go with me, because it’s last minute and I don’t have a date. And considering you haven’t flat out told me no, I’m going to guess Ty still has his head stuck up his ass.”
With a grin, I nodded and replied, “I’d love to go with you. Do you have a tux?”
Dirk looked at me like I’d asked the stupidest question in the world. “Do I have a tux? You don’t know me at all, Kaylee Holden.”
Chapter Seventeen
TY
“Kaylee has done an amazing job!” my mother said. Her eyes were dancing with happiness as my father smiled and looked around the ballroom of the Bitterroot River Inn.