Her mouth dropped open. “That’s it?”
Smiling, I drew in a deep breath and let it out. “What do you expect, Lincoln? We agreed it was a one-night thing.”
“That’s fine, but to totally avoid you is just him being a dick.”
I shrugged. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter anyway.”
She tilted her head. “It does matter. What if—”
Knowing what she was about to say, I cut her off. “I started this morning, so all is fine.”
I couldn’t help but notice the relieved look on her face. It was quickly replaced with a confused expression. “Wait, is that why you’re feeling down? Kaylee, you didn’t want . . .”
Lincoln’s voice trailed off when I broke our eye contact and looked back into the house.
“Blayze? What are you doing?” I called out, hoping to see him coming down the hall and saving me from this conversation. He wasn’t, though.
Damn it.
“Oh. My. God. Is that why you didn’t want him wearing a condom?”
I turned back to face her. “Scream it, why don’t you, Lincoln?”
Her hands covered her mouth as she gasped. When she dropped them back to her side, she slowly shook her head. “Kaylee Holden, have you lost your ever-loving mind? You were trying to get pregnant?”
“Of course not!” I said in a hushed voice.
“Then why do you look upset about this?”
“I’m not upset,” I shot back. At least not really upset.
“You are! I see it all over your face. You were hoping Ty got you pregnant.”
My eyes burned with the threat of tears. As crazy as it sounded, when he didn’t put a condom on, then thought twice about it, I knew I wanted him to not wear one for two reasons. One, I needed to feel him bare, and two, I actually had lost my ever-loving mind.
A small part of me hoped he’d left a piece of himself behind that night. In my crazy mind, I knew Ty had meant it when he’d said one night would be it. I needed more. I needed something of him, and as crazy as it sounded now, a baby would have been fine with me.
I wiped away a tear that had managed to slip free. “Is it so wrong that I maybe wished for something from him? That if he couldn’t give me himself, then at least I’d have a part of him?”
Her eyes closed as she let out a breath. “Kaylee.” Then she wrapped me in her arms, and I let the tears fall.
“I know it’s stupid, and irresponsible, but a part of me was hoping like hell it had happened, Lincoln. Does that make me crazy? I think that makes me crazy!”
“Shh, it doesn’t make you that crazy, sweetie. Just a whole lot crazy.”
I laughed and sobbed at the same time.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying, Aunt Kaylee?” Blayze asked from behind me.
Drawing back from Lincoln, I quickly wiped the tears away. “Nothing is wrong, buddy. Everything is exactly how it should be. What should we do first?”
Blayze smiled. “I have practice tonight.”
I drew my brows in and gave Lincoln a wondering look. “Practice for what?”
She sighed. “Blayze here thinks he wants to be a professional bull rider. His daddy couldn’t be more proud; his mama, on the other hand, is a nervous wreck. Anyway, in his attempt to help him pursue this career goal, Brock signed Blayze up for an event at the rodeo next month.”
“Surely not bull riding!” I said in a horrified voice.
Lincoln shook her head. “Oh, no. Close, though. Mutton busting.”
Unable to hide my laughter, I placed my hand over my mouth and attempted to cover it up with a cough. After clearing my throat, I asked, “And where does one go for mutton-busting lessons?”
I swore Blayze puffed his chest out some.
Lincoln replied, “They don’t have lessons for that, but Brock doesn’t give up easily. He talked to Brad Littlewood, who owns some sheep, and asked him if they could practice on them.” She looked at her son. “Did you bring your helmet?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Blayze said.
My heart melted a little. These crazy urges to have a baby were beginning to worry me. I’d understood how strong those emotions were when I’d held Morgan in the hospital when she was a few hours old. She was a baby. With the whole sweet smell and precious fingers and toes. I thought the desire would fade away. It hadn’t. It felt like it was growing stronger and stronger with each passing day.
“I’m not surprised Brad was on board with this,” I said with a chuckle.
Brad Littlewood was the father of Brock’s best friend and fellow bull rider, Dirk Littlewood. Dirk and I had grown pretty close after I’d moved here with Lincoln. Nothing sexual between us, just friends. He was easy to talk to and wasn’t the least bit interested in trying to get into my pants, for reasons that were still unknown to me. It was nice, though, having a guy friend whom I didn’t want to impregnate me. Of course, if I’d asked him, he might have been down for it.