Ugh. Stop this now, Kaylee. Ty is no longer in the picture. He was never in the picture. He made it crystal freaking clear that we have no picture together.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Channing said, giving me a kiss near the side of my mouth.
I wanted my body to want more, but the slight nervous feeling in my stomach was all I got. Was it anticipation? I hoped it was. I needed to move on, and I needed to start to feel again. I swallowed hard and looked up at Channing. “I was thinking I’m sort of over this bar.”
A wide grin erupted over Channing’s handsome face. “My place or yours?” he asked.
“Mine, and this isn’t an invitation into my bed, Channing. I want to make that clear.”
“Okay, I wasn’t assuming it was.”
I raised a brow in disbelief.
He laughed and took a step back, holding his hands up in defense. “All right, okay, I won’t lie and say it wasn’t exactly on my mind. I’m a guy, after all. But I’m not going to pressure you in any way, Kaylee.”
I gave him a soft smile. “That’s not to say I only have talking in mind, Channing.”
When he didn’t say anything but just stood there, I continued. “Shall we leave?”
“Yes, I think that’s an amazing idea . . . it’s either that, or I may end up kissing you right here in the middle of the dance floor.”
I chuckled as Channing wrapped his arm around my waist and guided us through the crowd. I may not have been having sex tonight, but there were plenty of other things we could do to take some of this sexual frustration away. Lots of other things to do, actually, and here I had at my disposal one handsome firefighter to help put out some small flames—or cause some others to spark to life.
As we headed out the door, I tried to push away the sudden feeling of panic that was churning my stomach. I drew in a few deep breaths as we walked to Channing’s car.
Once we fell back into an easy conversation, I relaxed again. Channing had taken my hand in his and was rubbing his thumb over my skin as he drove. I hated that I felt nothing from that action. Not. A. Damn. Thing. And when we pulled up to my house, I let out a long exhale as I waited for him to walk around and open my door. He reached his hand in and helped me out.
“It’s freezing!” I said as we quickly made our way up the steps.
After I unlocked the door, Channing decided to do something to warm me up. He kissed me. I turned to face him, and he cupped my face in his hands and pressed his mouth to mine.
At first I was stunned, not sure what to do. He pressed my body against the door and deepened the kiss. I opened to him and soon found my tongue moving with his.
I didn’t feel a thing. Not one damn flutter in my chest or dip in my stomach. Nothing.
When he moaned, a flashback of Ty kissing me caused me to pull my mouth from his and shake my head. An emotion now took hold of my chest and squeezed like a damn vise. I wasn’t sure what to make of this one.
Confusion? Guilt? Doubt?
Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m broken. That’s it. I am a broken woman who will never, ever have sex again.
Channing looked at me with a befuddled expression.
“Are you okay?” he asked, taking a step closer and placing his hand on the side of my cheek. “I swear, Kaylee, I’m not pressuring you, it’s just . . . I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I first laid eyes on you.”
A weak smile lifted the corners of my mouth slightly. “Really?”
He leaned his forehead to mine. “Really. But if you’re not ready, I’m a very patient man.”
I sighed. “I’m sorry, Channing. I thought I was wanting this, but maybe what I really want is to jump back into the whole dating thing a lot slower than I planned.”
“And that’s fine with me. I had a great night tonight, and I really want to see you again.”
We took a step back from one another, and our gazes met. “I had a great time too. I think we should call it a night.”
He nodded. “Can I ask you one thing? And I swear this is not a ploy to get into your house.”
I raised a brow. “I have Mace, you know.”
Channing laughed. “I have to piss like a racehorse, and I have a thirty-minute drive home.”
With a grin, I opened the door and walked into my house, Channing following me. “Down the hall, first door on the left.”
“Thank you!”
After a minute or two, Channing walked into the kitchen. “Thank you again for the great night, Kaylee.”