In that moment, I knew I would give this man more.
So much more.
Chapter Thirteen
BROCK
My mother stared at me from across the barn. When I glanced over to her, she smiled. So, I smiled back.
“Blayze said he really had fun at the fair the day before yesterday.”
“It was fun.”
“Linda Ryder stopped me in the store this morning to tell me she heard a rumor going around.”
Leaning against the stall, I crossed my arms over my chest. “That right? People finally find out Ty can’t ride a horse for shit?”
My mother chuckled and shook her head. “You’d better not let him hear you say that.”
“He never could handle the truth.”
“People are starting to talk about you and Lincoln.”
“So?”
Her brow lifted. “Is that a ‘So, I don’t care’ or a ‘So, what should I do about it’?”
“Mama, it was a ‘I don’t give two shits about what people are saying.’”
The way her eyes lit up made me laugh.
“I knew it! Ty mentioned she and Kaylee were going with us to Billings. I was just hoping you’d be the first to tell me.”
I grabbed the bag of oats sitting on the ground and headed back to the tack room. “Mama, don’t make a big deal out of this. I like her, and she likes me. We’re taking things slow. Just friends first.”
“Friends who kiss in public? Don’t you hurt that girl, Brock Shaw, or I will have to break your legs.”
“Damn, you’re scarier than the bull I drew for round one this weekend. And I have no intentions of hurting her.”
“I’m happy you opened up to someone. I think it will be good for you.”
I nodded. But a sudden squeeze of panic hit me square in the chest.
“Talk to me, Brock. I see it in your eyes.”
“What if she doesn’t like me being on the road all the time? At first she’s fine with it, but then . . .”
“She demands for you to stop bull riding?”
With a nod, I rubbed the back of my neck. “Or meets someone else. If I’m not here, how will I keep her happy?”
“Don’t compare this girl to Kaci, Brock. That isn’t fair for either of you.”
“I’m not.”
Her brow lifted.
“She’s nothing like Kaci.”
Making her way over to me, my mother placed her hand on my arm and gave it a squeeze. “You’re never going to be able to move on until you forgive yourself and realize you are not to blame.”
My heart ached in my chest. “I let her down, like I had so many times before. She didn’t think I was going to show up. She knew I put that bull before her that night. She died knowing I hadn’t put her first, Mama. How am I ever supposed to forgive myself for that?”
“It was tragic, but you didn’t cause Kaci to die.”
I nodded and took a step back. “I’m going to go for a ride before it’s time to leave. I told Lincoln I’d pick her and Kaylee up around ten.”
“Okay,” my mother replied softly.
After thirty minutes of riding, I slipped off my horse and sat on the ground against a tree. I was out in the north pasture and had a straight view of Lincoln’s house. The house I had remodeled for the happy family I’d thought I would have someday.
Closing my eyes, I went back four years to that day.
My bull was fourth up. Bending down, I closed my eyes and blocked everyone out as I said a prayer.
Standing, I took a few deep breaths before heading down and putting my bull rope over Midnight Ride. This bull was a beast and hadn’t been ridden in his last ten outs.
By the time he was in the chute, I was jumping out of my skin, waiting to crawl on him. They were at a commercial break, so I had a few extra minutes to get myself in the right frame of mind.
Dirk stood there, waiting for me to crawl onto the back of the bull. Right before I did, Kendall Schmidt came running up.
“Brock! Your mother called. Kaci went into labor.”
I frowned, and so did Dirk.
“She’s not due for another few weeks,” I replied.
Kendall grinned. “Well, sometimes these things don’t always go as planned. Your mom said you need to head back. There’s a complication. I’m not sure what. But as of right now, both Kaci and the baby are okay. If you leave now, you could take Bob’s helicopter and be there in an hour.”
I looked down and thought about it. It was only eight seconds.
“I’ll go after my ride.”
Dirk’s head snapped my way as Kendall looked horrified. “What?”
“I’m almost up. I’ll go after.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?” Dirk asked, pushing me on the chest as I started to climb over the rail. “Brock, your wife is in labor, and you’re going to ride?”