Chapter 6
Ihad never been so angry. Not when they stalked me, not when they kidnapped me from Earth, not anything else they had done had left me feeling this level of rage.
We had actually left him. My father who I had thought was dead. The man who I had mourned for, who I had missed with every breath in my body.
They had left him there.
I had left him there, and my heart felt broken.
How could I get over this?
They had locked me in a room on the spaceship again. I had learned this was their way of dealing with me when they weren’t sure what to do, just lock me out of sight where I couldn’t cause trouble.
I guess at least they hadn’t knocked me out this time. Although I’m sure they were regretting that since I had spent the last hour screaming and crying against the door, trying to convince them to turn the ship around so that we could go and save him.
As usual, my cries fell on deaf ears.
Corran had tried to reason with me. He tried to tell me it was too dangerous and that we could go back when it was safe. He tried to tell me that my life was too important for them to risk it by trying to save those humans, by trying to save my father.
My resentment grew with every word that he spoke. What had happened to them that they held such little compassion inside of them? How could we have just left them all there? How did they even live with themselves right now?
I had screamed that question at them through the door and Thane had yelled back that he was feeling great about himself in the moment seeing as how he had just “saved my ass” from the Khonsu hunt.
When my voice grew too hoarse to function, I sank to the ground and sobbed. I was so done with feeling like I had no control over my life. When was that going to change? How could I change that?
How could this even count as any semblance of a relationship when they were the ones who made all the decisions. I had no voice in anything. They always did what they thought was best.
I’ll admit that at times I had found their bossy ways to be attractive. But this...leaving my father...it was on a whole other level.
I didn’t know how I could forgive them for this.
I felt exhausted, more exhausted than I could remember ever feeling. Right then it was too much. Finding my father after all these years. Being hunted by an alien race whose end goal was to rape me. Thinking that I was about to be raped before Thane revealed himself, and then having to have sex in front of the Khonsu.
It was too much.
Before I had met Derrial, Thane, and Corran, I had just been a regular girl, a nobody. Sure I was poor and basically a doormat for everyone around me, but at least I knew what to expect out of life.
Now everything was up in the air. It seemed that just when I found the answer to one thing, another problem would pop right up, more often than not worse than the problem before it.
And I hadn’t even let myself think about the fact that I could be pregnant right now, scientifically knocked up with an alien baby. I mean how was this my life?
The image of Bruda passed through my mind at that moment. I thought about the fact that she had literally been a sex slave for the Vepar Council for years, yet she still somehow managed to keep her spirit alive.
Just thinking about everything she had been through made me feel guilty at my current freak out. Despite the fact that I had been through a lot, I hadn’t been through that.
I resolved right then and there that I was going to find a way to go back to my father. I wasn’t going to leave him with the Khonsu. I could be a hero in my own story for once.
And what if my mother was still alive? I hadn’t seen her in the cell, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t there. I hadn’t seen any females in that cell so maybe she was being held somewhere else.
Just the thought of feeling my parents’ arms around me again gave me a strength that I didn’t know that I still possessed.
I dragged myself off the ground and walked into the bathroom. Washing my face, I stared at myself in the mirror.
I had scratches and cuts all over my body from the Hunt. Corran hadn’t had a chance to use his little machine to fix me up yet. I almost didn’t want him to heal me. I wanted to make sure that I never forgot what had happened, that I never forgot this sense of resolve that I had.
Faint voices caught my attention. Looking around the room for where they were coming from, I walked over to the wall where I saw a small speaker. The guys’ voices were coming through it. Evidently, they had forgotten to turn it off with the craziness of what had happened. There was no way that they would have intentionally left it on. They did their best to keep me out of everything.
I guess they weren’t going to get what they wanted this time.