The man I will always love.
From the moment I met you, I knew that something like this would happen. I knew that something, someday, would happen that would tear us apart. I just never imagined that it would be this.
Tye wasn’t perfect. I’m not deluded in any way. I knew that Tye wasn’t perfect, but to stay here? Knowing that he almost destroyed your family? How could I look Everleigh in the eye? How could I stay here, forever being a reminder of the worst thing that ever happened to her and Dawson?
I’d rather go now than have you come to resent me when her face cracks every time she looks at me. I couldn’t live with that.
I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone that is going to love you as much as I do. I want to know that you are living your life to the fullest.
Don’t look for me because you won’t find me.
I love you, Freddie. To the last mile of the way.
Always yours,
Luke x
* * *
Standing outside the apartment building, I turned the GPS off on my phone. I knew Isobel and Freddie well enough to know that would be the first thing they’d do. There was nothing for them to find. I couldn’t bear to destroy my phone, as that held the only memories I have of Freddie.
I looked down the block, needing to find somewhere, anywhere, to go. I needed to check what flights were going out and decide what to do: Chicago or London. I knew that Nina would kill me if I left America without seeing her again. She’d also be upset that I had taken off with how I was feeling.
Walking down the block, I was relieved that it was still early. That gave me some time to put a plan in place before they would begin looking for me. That gave me enough time to disappear.
Stopping at a café, I ordered a coffee and took a seat at the back. Taking my phone out, instead of opening up a browser to check flight times, I loaded up Robert’s contact info. He wasn’t exactly a member of Freddie’s little group. He was the one friend I had made that wouldn’t be impacted by anything that happened with Freddie.
I’m taking off. Sorry, man. Not sure where to yet but… Look me up if you’re ever in the UK and want to learn some actual bartending skills. ;)
He always teased me that I was a rookie. He was a pretty cool guy, and I’d miss hanging out with him.
Loading up my browser, I typed in Chicago. I was nervous to see Nina because I knew that she would try to fix things. She wouldn’t understand that there was nothing there to fix. Last night, it had shattered too much to be put back together. After flicking through the pages, I saw that there was a flight going out to O’Hare Airport this afternoon. Entering in my details, I blew way too much money on a one-way ticket before I fired off a text message to Nina.
Looks like I’m coming to see you. Flight is at three pm. Fancy picking me up from O’Hare?
I waited for a response. The dotted bubble appeared, telling me she was typing something.
Yay! Are you bringing that new man of yours with you? I can’t wait to meet him.
She had to ask that question, didn’t she?
Uh, no. Just me. It didn’t work out, so I figured I’d come and see you before I head back home. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to see you.
I tossed the phone down on the table. I could feel my eyes filling up because I knew she was going to be difficult. She couldn’t help it. She was a meddler, a fixer. Fuck, wasn’t I the same when she and James were going through their difficult time? I didn’t leave it alone until I had the two of them back together.
I tensed when my phone started to ring. Looking down at the screen, I let the tears fall when I saw Freddie’s face on the screen. It looked like my time was up. I pressed mute, not wanting the ringing to disturb any of the customers or staff. I wasn’t going to answer it. The time for goodbyes had come and gone.
There was nothing left to be said.
CHAPTERTWENTY
NINA
Idon’t want to talk about it. I just want to see you.
Those words killed me. My best friend was hurting. Hurting so much that he was taking off and leaving his James behind. Sitting up in the bed, I watched my James come out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist.
“So, what time are we going to Luke’s?” he asked as he grabbed a clean t-shirt out of the chest of drawers. We had arrived in New York yesterday, deciding an impromptu visit was needed to surprise Luke. We had planned to pop up at his apartment or the hotel maybe and surprise him, but now… Now those plans had gone out the window.