“Open,” he said, bringing it to my lips as I sucked on the digit hard before I pulled it out with a pop. Luke grabbed my hand and skimmed it over his erect cock quickly, making sure I got the very clear message. “I think it’s time we got you girls in a cab.”
“I agree,” I growled as Isobel and Chrissie looked straight at us.
“Well, they managed longer than I thought they would…” Isobel chirped at Chrissie as I placed down the money on the table to cover the bill, raising my brow in preparation for Isobel or Chrissie to argue with me.
“They did but next time we pay, Fred,” Chrissie uttered, but both Luke and I rolled our eyes in response as we stood and pulled the girls’ chairs out.
“I can’t see either one of us letting that happen now.” Luke hooked his arm out for Chrissie as I took Isobel’s in mine. “Your carriage awaits, my ladies.”
* * *
The ride to Luke’s place was five minutes quicker than mine, but that was five minutes sooner to appreciate each other together. I wanted him in my arms, naked. The serial tension had been out of this world, but what I wanted to do more than anything was talk. Make love together. Then talk some more. Had I had a hit to the head? No. I’d come to realize that I wanted to open up to the man who had started to make me whole again. Luke deserved to know about my thoughts and feelings, and I’d promised myself that I would try and open up about something new each day to Luke. A promise I wanted to uphold.
The moment we stepped into Luke’s place, I didn’t hesitate to head straight into the bedroom. Words were pointless until I had him in my arms and it felt as if Luke could read my inner monologue just as well, as I slipped between the sheets and held his body close to mine.
“I needed this,” I started.
“I know.” Luke breathed against my neck as he grabbed my hand and placed it against his heart. “Something happened earlier.”
“It did.” I choked back the emotion as I let a tear cascade down my cheek.
“Fred, baby.” Luke sat up and leant on his elbow as he kissed the tears away as each fell as he held me close. “Talk to me.”
“I realized something.” I sobbed, letting his strength and steady breaths try and settle my beating heart. “That guy tonight…”
“Evan, was it?”
I nodded slightly.
“He used to be like me, Luke. The man who ran from emotion. The man who had a piece missing of his heart. The man who was scared to feel anything.” I looked up into Luke’s eyes and gulped hard. “The man who thought love was a word thrown into the world but had no meaning and thought he was never worthy.”
“Fred.” Luke brushed his lips against mine as I gasped. “You’re worthy. You’re so worthy of my love.”
“Luke.” I pulled back, scanning for an ounce of a lie, but it didn’t exist. “It’s too soon.”
“You can never control what the heart wants, Fred. You know that, don’t you?”
“I do, baby. I do,” I uttered as I crushed my mouth against Luke’s in a desperation to express how much he meant to me. I pulled back and whispered against Luke’s lips, “You’re the piece that was missing from my heart and now I’m finally whole again at last.”
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
LUKE
Lying awake the next morning, listening to the sounds of Freddie’s breathing, I knew that last night had changed things. When Freddie had told me he used to be that guy: withdrawn, unstable emotionally, unable to let his heart out and experience love the way that I knew I wanted to… It made me realize how far I had come from the player back home who only gave himself to his friends, to the man I knew I was slowly becoming.
I also knew the reason for the change: Freddie. It was all down to the man sleeping next to me. As we talked last night, I knew it bonded us closer together. It wasn’t an‘I love you’moment and that was only because I was terrified that if I actually uttered the words, he may bolt. We had had so many up and down moments, I was scared that such a momentous moment for us as a couple would bring all those uncertainties of Freddie’s to the surface again.
I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to feel like I did when he kept running out on me and his emotions. I’d keep those words bottled up inside of me for as long as I had to. For as long as I’d need to.
“You’re thinking,” he gritted out lazily.
I turned my head to look at him. “You’ve been watching me?” I asked. “That’s kind of creepy, you know.”
“No.” He smiled at me, still with his eyes closed. “I just think I’m coming to know you a little.” He slowly opened his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I stared at him for a few moments before I spoke. I wasn’t ready to tell him the whole truth, but I also didn’t want to outright lie to him. Lies were a direct path to the end of a relationship and, considering we’d had enough problems already, I wasn’t ready to cause more problems. Just because I was afraid of him walking out on me whenever I grew the balls to say it didn’t mean I wanted to push him out the door by lying to him.
If he ever lied to me, I don’t know if I could ever forgive that.