“Don’t start doing that.” I leaned my head back against his shoulder as I felt his hard length press against my arse.
“Why not?” he whispered.
“Because…” I placed my hand over his on my hip. “I want us to talk first. I want this to be more than just sex. More than just a friends-with-benefits arrangement.”
The lift stopped traveling and as the doors opened, I found myself hoping that tonight could be the start of something, instead of an arrangement with a ticking clock that it has felt like since we had started this. Hopefully tonight, I would know what to label this as. All I knew is I wanted to know Freddie, and I was certain now more than ever, that I wanted him to know me.
Sliding the key in the lock, I held the door open and waited for him to join me.
“Fancy a drink?” I walked to the kitchen. “Or a coke or something?” I turned around to face him, surprised when I didn’t have an answer. “What is it?” I asked him. “You’re looking at me funny.”
“Sorry.” He grabbed a stool and took a seat. “Your place is nice,” he said, having a nosey look around.
“Thanks.” I grabbed two glass bottles of coke from the fridge and after uncapping them, I slid one across the worktop to him. “It’s home,” I started. “For now.”
He nodded his head at me, looking very serious as he removed his coat. “When, uh… When do you think you’ll be going back to London?”
I blew out a breath as I began removing my coat and took the seat next to him. “I don’t know.” I played with the label, peeling the corners of the sticky paper off the bottle. “I had originally planned to stay here for a month, maybe.” I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally. “It’s already coming up to that time, but I…” I let a chuckle escape. “But something seems to be making me stay here for longer.”
I had expected him to laugh, but he just continued to stare at me with that serious expression of his.
“Sounds like I’ve messed up your trip to see America.” He bit his lip before he took a swig of his beer. “I don’t let many people in, Luke.”
“I know,” I quickly agreed. “I’m usually the same.”
“So what changed?” He turned a little to face me. “I’d like to know what happened in your life to change your normal player ways. I mean, you did say before that you were just a one-night stand kind of guy.”
“Yeah.” I picked at the label on my bottle again but froze when he reached over and placed his hand over mine. He rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand. “I did say that, didn’t I?”
“You’re tense,” he stated. “Just talk to me. Tell me what changed in your world.”
“Back home, there’s a small group of us,” I began. “Everyone is coupled up. The only single ones remaining are me and Christopher. He’s off being a badass in the army at the moment. Thomas and Lauren are coupled up and are days away from having their first baby. Alex and Charlie have become good friends and an extension of our small group has a couple of kids and James and Nina have just tied the knot.”
“They are the ones that live over here?” he asked me.
“They didn’t used to. They are originally from London, but they moved out here when James got offered a job at a restaurant as a chef. They are happy now.”
“Now?” he asked, picking up on that word.
“They weren’t to start with. James had lost someone before and he…” I stopped, trying to think of the best way to explain it. “He was attached to this girl and she… she died.”
“Fuck. That’s bad.” He paused. “Did you know her?”
“No.” I shook my head at him. “I never met her. She was Charlie’s best friend and Charlie’s ex got a little too hands-on one day when she was trying to move on and…” I rubbed my lips together before I spoke again. “She saw the blow coming, and she pushed Charlie out of the way. Saved her life and the life she unknowingly had inside of her.”
“Poor Charlie,” he whispered. “And James.”
“Yeah.” I flicked my eyes up to his. “Since Nina left London and followed her heart to Chicago, it’s left me feeling like there’s more… Like thereshouldbe more to life than just running the bar and having a string of hook-ups in between.”
“And that’s why you decided to stay in America?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know anymore. I guess I just wanted to do something for myself. Maybe I just wanted to get out on my own and see what else was out there.”
“And what do you think of it so far?” he asked in a quiet tone. “Are you happy with what you’ve seen so far?”
Before I stood up, I smiled at him. “I think I’d like to see a little more.” I squeezed his fingers, and after giving a gentle tug, I led him to the bedroom.
“Last time we were together,” I began, “it was rushed. Frenzied. We were so desperate for each other.” I pushed gently on his chest and watched as he flopped down on the bed. “Tonight, I want it to be different. Tonight, I want to enjoy you.” I toed my shoes off, happy when he began to toe his own off and let them fall off his sock-covered feet.