“It’s just what?” I grabbed a stool and sat my arse down on it, wondering what was wrong now.
“You made me breakfast,” he stated, still looking at me with that wide-eyed expression.
“We just had that conversation.” I growled, feeling my impatience start to snap.
“No.” He shook his head at me and walked toward the worktop. He sat down on the stool opposite me. “You made my favorite sandwich.” He lifted the slice of bread up and looked down at the filling. “And it’s crispy.”
I reached for the coffee and poured us two mugs before I added a heap load of sugar to mine.
“Bacon just isn’t bacon unless it’s crispy,” I quickly inserted. “I thought having some food may help the situation.” I took a large bite of my sandwich, groaning at the taste of the hash and bacon.
“What situation?” He frowned at me, looking at me like I was speaking another language.
I barked out a laugh at how completely clueless he sounded. “Really? You want me to spell it out?” I sighed. “Every time I get a little closer. Every time that I start to feel I am getting somewhere with you, you pull away from me.” I placed my sandwich down, feeling my appetite go. I stood up and stormed past him to his bedroom and tore his t-shirt off. Now I was the one that wanted to escape.
“What are you doing?” he asked from behind me.
I pulled my shirt on, rolling the sleeves up to my elbows. “I’m leaving. What does it look like I’m doing?” Only silence met me.
I quickly buttoned up what few buttons remained and pulled my breaches over my shoulders before I tucked myself in and put my belt on. I forewent the tie, not having the patience to look for it, and grabbed my waistcoat and slipped it on.
“I should never have come here anyway,” I muttered as I sat down on the bed and began to put my shoes on.
“Here as in my apartment?” he asked me finally. “Or here in New York?”
I finished tying my shoes and looked up at him. I wanted to say that he looked nervous as he waited for my answer, but I had none to give him. I had originally meant this apartment with him, but now that he asked that question, I was unsure if I meant the city.
If Tye were here, it’d be different. If Tye was here…
“I don’t know, Freddie.” I stared at him, hating the way his face fell. “After this morning, I don’t know.” I went to storm past him, but as his hand shot out and grabbed my wrist, I froze.
“Stay. Don’t go. Not like this.”
“I have to.” I leaned forward and kissed his temple. “You take care of yourself.” I grabbed my coat off the back of the sofa and walked out, leaving him.
As I stopped outside the elevator and waited for the lift to arrive, I looked back. I had no right to be disappointed that he hadn’t fought harder for me to stay, considering I was the one that had decided to take off.
I shook my head as I got into the empty elevator. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I sent a text message to Nina.
Sorry to disturb the honeymoon. Pm me when you’re home. I think I need someone to talk to.
The second I pressed send, I regretted it. I knew she’d worry and the last thing I wanted to do was make her worry over me. I couldn’t call Thomas and Christopher was off on an Army base somewhere being a hero. They’d just tell me to man up or to find someone else. Or better still, to say fuck it and come back home to London sooner and that wouldn’t fix things.
Nina was different. Thomas may have been my best friend, but I had a different bond with Nina. She just got me in a way no one else did. She got me in the way that I wanted Freddie to.
Exiting the building, I quickly flagged down a yellow cab and directed him to my building. All I wanted right now was a shower and my bed. I had a shift later, but first, I needed to sort my head out. I always knew it would just be one night andonlyone night with Freddie.
Leaning my head back against the seat, I closed my eyes before I began to roll my shoulders. I could feel the stiffness there alerting me I was tense. I’d had different plans for Freddie and me today, but it looks like I was on my own. I didn’t want to go home to London just yet, but I also wasn’t ready to leave here either. Maybe I could travel and see a bit more of what America had to offer.
Climbing out of the taxi, I handed some cash over to the driver with a tip and dragged my tired body in through the doors. Arriving in front of my door, I slid the key in the lock and walked inside. Tossing them on the table, I quickly stripped and climbed in under the hot spray. Tilting my head back, I washed the suds down my body and with it, the scent of Freddie’s peppermint that clung to me.
* * *
Lying on my bed in nothing but my joggers, I glared at the clock as it ticked closer to the start of my shift. I was tempted to call in sick, but I was kind of afraid that Isobel or Chrissie would turn up at my door and demand I get my arse to work. I think they were little matchmakers on the sly. I also didn’t want to leave Robert on his own to run the bar.
Blowing out a breath, I sat up, attempting to get the motivation to get dressed when my phone began ringing. Looking over, I saw Nina’s image pop up with her making a kissing expression on the screen.
“Luke,” her sweet voice immediately echoed down the line. “Luke, what’s wrong?”