We must have walked past a dozen benches until Dad reached the one, he wanted before sitting down and patting the space next to him with his empty hand. It was as if he had planned to have my full attention rather than me diverting it away to the cold chilled delight that was now settling in my stomach.
“Harlow, is everything all right?” Dad asked cautiously looking directly into my eyes knowing if I tried to lie that he would spot tell-tale signs immediately.
“Honestly,” I sighed. “I don’t know,” I replied quietly dropping my head slightly trying to avoid that penetrating stare that would release my tears building behind my lowered lashes.
“Listen, sweetheart, you’ve been quiet and withdrawn. That isn’t the girl I’ve brought up,” he stated purposely grabbing my hands in his tightly squeezing them to grab my attention.
“I know, I just don’t want to be judged by people,” I finally said waiting for his reaction.
“Harlow Carmichael never be afraid to show the true you, you’re strong, powerful and in control of your own destiny. No one else can determine those decisions in life. Not anyone. People will try to knock you down if you let them, but you know what – you fight? Do you understand me?” he said letting the words tumble out fast and quickly as if it was the most important thing in the world to him.
“I know, it’s just hard,” I mumbled.
“Life is hard, Harlow. Things are sent to test us, but you have to stand back up and fight again,” he replied, grabbing my hand, and pulling me from the bench before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and dropping a kiss to the top of my head.
I swiped the tears away from my chilled skin and stood up, whilst I soaked in my surroundings that had always been my home deep down. With all my worldly possessions in tow, I made my way up the hill towards the white stonewashed building that held all of my childhood memories. Eastward still looked the same, amidst a few changes and I hoped that the time away had been enough to help me deal with everything inside.
Four
Elijah
Johnny asked for help,and I came running. It was always the same, before I had left to inform the guys of the change of plans the words tumbled from his mouth and I nodded like I always had. That’s what bros do. Support one another through everything even when you know sometimes, they needed to stand on their own two feet. It didn’t help I was a curious shit and actually wanted to check that they both were fine. Call me a saint for caring.
I know I should have denied him and headed home, but instead I sat in the alcove of the window's edge at Johnny’s house, watching out for any sign of movement, a car headlight, or a figure as it walked towards us from the harbour.
I knew he would need my support even though I had thought Johnny may have wanted to do this alone. I knew he still required the extra support from me whether I felt I could provide it or not. It had become a necessity now. Together we had stood, facing many obstacles and it seemed again he needed to draw upon my strength and advice. He trusted me to be the voice of reason, to ensure I acted as a mediator for them both. Deep down, I was the person to calm the storm before it escalated.
Johnny was sure to have worn a spot in the carpet by now. From the moment he knew Harlow was coming home, it was like a switch had flipped. I saw the mixed emotions running across his face, the worry clearly visible in his eyes. Johnny wouldn’t have settled until he could’ve seen for himself that she was safe.
“What took you so long?” Johnny asked curiously. “I thought you may have headed home, you know?”
“Guys had a couple rounds in, and I couldn’t just walk away, could I?” I stated confidently.
“You fucked someone didn’t you?” He smirked.
“Not the time, man,” I said flitting my eyes back towards the window.
“Come on,” he pleaded as he stopped pacing for a moment enjoying my squirming of avoiding the question.
“Just a random,” I joked.
“Everyone talks here. Come on. Give me a distraction.”
“Gemma, all right.” I sighed. “A quick release fuck, now will you leave it?” I asked.
“Okay,” Johnny whispered, hiding a chuckle as he started pacing the room obviously his mind had returned to Harlow.
He had originally intended to act casual, he knew she wouldn’t want a fuss to be made. The nerves soon took hold and he was unable to sit still, he was full of anxious energy that bounded off him.
We had an idea that she was only a few hours away hence timing my outing to make sure I was back in time. One time we had searched the internet for the dialling code, when she called us from a landline number, after she first moved.
If we’d just turned up at the time, we knew we wouldn’t have been greeted with open arms. Johnny hadn’t given a shit about that fact at the time, but I’d been the reasonable one and known she had done this for a reason. In Harlow’s mind that could’ve been anything from the way she had acted through her grief.
I’d convinced Johnny to research the area online and get to know where Harlow was staying from a distance, just to ease his worries. She was determined and independent, if we had just turned up, she would have dug her heels in more and caused a scene. Probably would’ve ended up running even further away and not contacting Johnny at all.
I thought if he gave her the freedom that she obviously craved, it would make her realise she needed Johnny, but also needed me. We just didn’t know that it would take too long, and worry filled years for her to make that call. The one that brought her back to us.
Time had given me the perspective to attempt to figure out that mind of hers, I often wondered why she had run just as soon as she could. To be honest, all Johnny wanted at that time was to keep her close. He was scared of anything else that had the power to burst the little bubble he had created around the both of them. In his mind, he thought that if he could have kept her with him, she wouldn’t have to experience heartache ever again, he would shield her from it all.