He took a seat next to me, mimicking my relaxed pose with his arms in the sand behind him, as he held his body upright and turned to face me. I had expected awkwardness to be present, but surprisingly it wasn’t. I knew this conversation wasn’t going to be a stroll in the park though. Swallowing down my nervousness, I wanted to clue him in on the last two years and how it hadn’t been easy at all. I wanted him to see me. The real me, no hiding away. To maybe be in my corner when Johnny became a controlling, unreasonable, asshole of a brother and for once, advocate my reasoning and not my brother’s. I had stood on my own two feet sure, and I had dug deep to work every shift offered but that was because I had to.
“Things were tough while I was away,” I said keeping my sunglasses firmly over my eyes not wanting him to see the hurt and despair that was written across my features.
“Go on, Har… It’s just us,” he whispered encouragingly grasping handfuls of coarse sand in his hand but not daring to remove his eyes from me.
“I had to work long endless hours to ensure I kept my flat. It was attached to the position, you see.”
His head nodded in understanding listening intently.
“I was exhausted and drained. If I wasn’t working, I was sleeping, but to be honest I picked up every shift I was offered scared that next time I wouldn’t be asked,” I said.
Speaking it aloud made me realise that maybe I wasn’t as grown up as I thought. I’d been stubborn, accepting less than my worth to prove some silly point.
I remembered how the additional shifts had drained me, as I tried to get my own apartment, but the wages never seemed enough, even though I fought tooth and nail. The tips had been a saviour on more than one account when the bills got too much. Don’t get me wrong, they were a fantastic bunch of people, especially Shelley, who treated me as one of her own. I just couldn’t let myself get too close to her. I discovered hurt was only around the corner and you never knew what form it would appear in.
A mist of unshed tears glazed my eyes, but I didn’t want Elijah to see them. My voice was near a whisper as I held my emotions back, fighting to keep them contained. I thought he had an inkling of my battle though, as he suddenly reached forward and rubbed my shoulder soothingly.
“Go on Harlow, let it all out,” he said as a cascade of emotions hit me full throttle in the chest.
The minute he said the words, the tears cascaded down my cheeks, he removed my sunglasses and pulled me into his chest.
“Harlow you’re doing great, remember it’s me.”
I relaxed into his embrace, wondering where this side of him had appeared from. A new aura was hanging between us both and deep down that was the problem. I couldn’t help but notice through my tears, just how warm and comforting he felt; things that shouldn’t be going through my mind with him being my brother’s best friend. I couldn’t help it though as I allowed my mind to wander further at how firm his chest was and how amazing he smelled. Add that to the fact he had seemed different now, more willing to listen to me as the words flowed out with ease and I felt a weight lift from my shaking shoulders.
“The conditions were not great shall we say, well the apartment anyway, that came with the position. Call it naivety on my part, but I should’ve known at the monthly cost, I wasn’t going to get anything near what I originally expected. I was scared to admit I’d made a mistake and crawl back to you both. You know what Johnny can be like sometimes.”
I wiped a tear away.
“I needed to prove I could do it for mum and dad, I’d made them a promise,” I uttered finding each word a struggle to force out from my mouth.
“Harlow, they would be so proud of you. Don’t think that you have done anything wrong. Look at the bigger picture. I know Johnny is a dick at times but honestly, it’s because he cares. You spent two years alone, on your own with no-one. I think that is bloody awe-inspiring. So, what if she is selling the place, it’s not like you have to stay there. At the end of the day, it’s a decision outside of your control. Now, shall we walk back and talk to Johnny before he goes all search and rescue again?”
His words reassured me and the look of contentment we both shared didn’t last long as we realised how we were still wrapped up in one another. We unhurriedly disentangled our arms from each other and burst into fits of giggles, realising that Johnny would indeed be going slightly crazy by now.
A heart-to-heart didn’t mean we were friends; he still couldn’t be trusted after one selfless act. I cautiously watched him, as he tried to get the dried sand off his body. I realised that Elijah had changed, too, but just how much remained to be seen.
Ten
Elijah
The sand clungto my arms and legs thanks to the dried on sweat after running, I couldn’t help scratching my skin at intervals as the itching started driving me crazy. I knew I should have suggested that I left Harlow alone to talk to Johnny, so I could head back to clean up. She hadn’t hesitated when I suggested going back towards the house with her instead, she just kept checking I was by her side. Before I had even realised the words flew out of my mouth in an offer of support, knowing Johnny, he would be frantic by now with worry to where Harlow could’ve been. Especially with her escapades as a teenager and her habit of fleeing at any given opportunity. Internally, I sighed. I realised I was being too harsh in reality. She had run once and both Johnny and I couldn’t stop the fear she would run again if we pushed her too hard or too fast. The unknown hit of what we potentially could be facing. The risk of her leaving.
Walking the familiar route back to the house, Johnny called, and a laugh rumbled from the depths of my chest. I nudged Harlow as I showed her the screen.
“Didn’t I say, search and rescue,” I said picking up the phone still chuckling.
“Johnny, take a breath you’re going to bloody hyperventilate, just calm down. Come to the door.”
I finished the call on him, and Harlow struggled to keep the giggles in as she quizzed me to find out if he always had been that bad.
“Harlow, he used to be much worse with worry when you were younger. This is mellow in comparison.”
I just shook my head at Johnny, and I hoped I had saved her from a little stress as he had realised to keep his mouth shut already. Looking between the two of us, I could see he was confused by her sudden reappearance at home, with me by her side. Hoping to defuse the situation, I took the lead and muttered.
“Alright to go inside?”
I continued walking past Johnny, as I figured he wouldn’t kick off in the middle of the street and allow the neighbours a front row view whilst he caused a fuss. It was as if everyone in our community craved to know the other resident’s business.Nosy parkers.