I clear my throat before asking, “What happens next?”
“We have some more applications for foster parents. We’ll try our best to find a happy home for Alex.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes.
I’m sure the accident and the subsequent injury must have brought their own set of problems for Alex. I don’t know how many new parents are willing to look past that.
My heartbeat accelerates, knowing Alex might have no choice in picking his happy home.
“We should leave.” Ms. Day gets up from the L-shaped couch.
Is it my imagination or did Alex take a step back? His hands clutch his backpack, which Rose dried last night after carefully slipping his things into a plastic bag with his help.
My wife walks to him, and his grip on the bag loosens.
“I have a small gift for you.” She places the two comics in his hands, and Alex immediately hugs her legs. My heart clenches at the sight and then more when my wife looks at me over her shoulder. She’s pleading with me for something, and I don’t know how to give it to her.
“He isn’t interacting with us at all, but it looks like your wife won him over.” Ms. Day’s words have more guilt rising inside me. She doesn’t know there might be no one who’ll understand Alex as well as Rose.
“Don’t let me go.” His words cut through my heart, and Ms. Day gasps. My gaze shifts to Officer Cole as his mouth falls open in shock.
Ms. Day recovers fast from her surprised state. “Alexander, please come here.”
I walk toward Alex and Rose, just in time to hear him whisper to my wife. “Please, I don’t like it there. I want to live with you.”
* * *
“We shouldn’t have let him go.” Rose’s finger digs into my wrist as we watch the police cruiser leave our property.
“Rose, we can’t keep a kid at our place.”
“Why the hell not?” Her gaze meets mine. I’ve never seen Rose challenge me or anyone else, and it takes me a while to let go of the shock.
“What are you asking, couch girl?” I pull her into my arms, not liking the distance between us. I also don’t want to look into her blazing eyes. They accuse me of not doing the right thing.
“Zander, you know what I’m asking.” Her body goes lax against mine. “Why can’t we adopt him? Why can’t he stay with us?” Her questions, her sobs on this gloomy, cloudy day as we stand on our porch, kill me.
“Calm down, Rose.” I rub her back gently, urging her to take a deep breath. “We can’t decide this on a whim, couch girl. It’s an important decision, and it affects Alex’s whole life.”
“He thinks he’s broken, Zander.” Tears run down her cheeks as she looks up at me. “He thinks he’s unlovable. He thinks no one’s gonna love him.” Her every sob, her every hiccup, hits me hard. “We can’t leave him there, Zander. We can’t, especially after knowing he was in an accident.”
“Shh, babe. I’ll talk to the headmistress. I’ll do everything to make this right.” I hold her in my arms, making a promise to her that Alex won’t be a kid left alone and forgotten like us.
27
ALEX
Ms. Day walks into my room and explains to me that someone is coming to meet me tomorrow.
“I have a very good feeling you’re finally going to go home.” She holds my face before placing a kiss on my forehead and leaves.
This isn’t the first time she’s said that, so I know it’s a lie. I never leave. I’ll never find a home like the other boys here.
I look at the empty bed next to mine. Nick came here a month ago. His parents died like mine. But yesterday, he found new parents. They brought gifts for everyone.
I open my drawer and count the items inside it. There are five storybooks, three small cars, and two baseballs. All gifts I got when each of my friends found new parents.
I don’t know how many more I’ll get. Maybe I should ask Ms. Day for a bigger desk, because I know I’ll never leave this place. No one can love me.
No one except Rose and Zander.