* * *
After everyone leaves, Zander and I return to his hotel suite, and we promptly decided on a bath.
“How are you feeling?” He gently strokes my calf underwater. I rest my head on his shoulder and notice the intricate details on the ceiling above the bathtub.
“I remember the times when I wished Sophia was my mother. I’d imagine the day she would take me home with her.” When he places a featherlight kiss on my forehead, my eyes shut involuntarily. I’m so thankful for his love today. It’s the only constant thing in my life, keeping me sane while everything else has been turned upside down. “But I never imagined feeling this lost. I don’t know what to…think.” I lean forward and puncture some of the bubbles in the bathwater. “What do you think will happen next?”
Zander’s fingers start massaging my shoulders, and I try to relax the tight muscles under his gentle touch. “Most likely, Beast will bring Sophia home. They’ve lost a lot.”
I nod. They did. They lost each other and their life together.
“Is h-he really gone? Are they both gone?” I whisper, still not completely believing that my worst nightmare is over.
Zander’s body goes taut behind me. I feel his curt nod as he places his chin on my shoulder.
I close my eyes, trying to fill my lungs, my heart, with fresh relief.
I can live now.
My brain struggles to think freely, but it’s so hard. I don’t know what I can and cannot do. Living in fear is the only way I know.
I close my eyes, trying hard as Zander caresses my back.
He knows what I’m feeling.
He knows me.
My eyes open, and a small smile pulls on my lips as a stray tear runs down my chin.
I know what I want.
I turn around, sloshing some water on the floor before throwing my arms around his neck. “Will you marry me?” I blurt.
He freezes and his wide eyes simply stare at me for some moments before he speaks. “You—” His voice comes out as a squeak. Clearing his throat, he starts again. “You want to marry me?”
“I always wanted to marry you.” Did he change his mind? A fearful fluttering develops in my stomach. “Why are you so surprised?”
He doesn’t answer my question, but instead asks me, “When do you want to get married?”
I can feel the giddiness in his eyes and happiness radiating from his body.
“Soon,” I whisper and pull his face closer to mine.
“Tomorrow?” He breathes the word over my lips.
I shake my head. “I want to get married in our new house. I want to start our life there, with the happiest day of my life.”
“Thank fucking God,” Zander whispers before capturing my lips.
18
ZANDER
I ravish her lips with mine, pouring everything into this kiss. The exhaustion of the past few days, the fear of losing her, the anger over her suffering. Everything.
When I suck her dry lips, a whimper escapes out of her. For the first time since I found her in the middle of a panic attack in her living room, she’s so relaxed in my arms. However hard I try, I can’t throw that image of her out of my mind.
My hands tighten around her back, bringing her closer to me. I wish there was a way I could pull her inside me and lock her in my heart, where I can protect her and keep her away from all the bad in this world.