“The knowledge that I helped my friend achieve her dream. Lifelong happiness.”
“What if you meet someone—”
“I won’t.”
“Noah.”
“Mia. I don’t care about that.” His eyes dropped to his hands for a second before he looked back at her. His next words were so quiet she almost didn’t catch them. “You mean more to me.”
Her mind skipped back to that night in college, and a tiny part of her wondered if they’d made a mistake.What if...?
She swallowed and glanced away. “What if we got caught?”
“We wouldn’t. We’ve been friends for decades. It’s completely plausible we’ve been pining after each other all these years and finally decided to do something about it. No one else needs to know the situation.”
“Don’t you think your dad would know? If I quit, we got married, you put me on your insurance...he’d know something was up.”
“Let me deal with my dad.”
Her face must have revealed her doubt, because he kept going.
“My dad loves you like you’re his daughter. Even if he suspected something, he’d never say anything.”
Was she actually considering this? “I’d leave him in a lurch.” She waved a hand in the direction of the lobby.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but we can find another administrative assistant. Maybe even one who doesn’t pry the letters off my keyboard once a week.”
She grinned at that. “You’d probably move offices if I left.” He hated being so close to the lobby.
“Probably.”
She leaned back, slumping against the cushion. “I—I can’t, Noah.” She closed her eyes, wishing... For what, she didn’t know. Just...wishing.
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both.”
“Because you don’t want to marry me? Or because you don’t want to put me out?”
She sat up and frowned. “Both, I guess.”
“Wow. Okay.”
“Noah, you’re my best friend. I love you, you know that. But I don’t want to marry you because it’s not fair to you. And because it would be too much of a burden.”
“So, it’s all because of how you think it affects me? It has nothing to do with hating the idea of being married to me? Or because you’d be embarrassed to introduce me as your husband?”
“Of course not,” she said, surprised he’d even think that. “I’d be proud to call you that. But we’re friends. We’re not in a relationship. It’s...weird.”
“Lots of people get married in name only.”
“Is that the marriage you’ve always envisioned for yourself? A fake one?”
“Is this the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself? In a job with no potential for growth, while your dream of improving childhood nutrition passes you by?”
“I hate it when you do that.”
He stilled. “Do what?”