She covered her face with her hands. Thinking about it was pointless. She couldn’t go back in time, and couldn’t change what happened that night, or shortly after.
Even if Noah’s proposal could be seen as a second chance (which it shouldn’t, because he was just doing it to help her out), and even if she wanted a second chance with him (which she didn’t, because their friendship was perfect), her reasons for staying out of a real relationship were still valid. Even if it were Noah, someone who loved her (like afriend) and cared about her well-being, he still didn’t deserve the burden of her illness. It was time-consuming, costly, and stressful. It came with a lot of unknowns, and that was something she was determined to shoulder alone.
It was bad enough her parents had to foot the early medical bills. She’d never be able to repay them.
Her hands slid down her face a little, as a new realization set in. She’d have a better chance of giving them some money back, if she had a better paying job. She wouldn’t become rich as a dietician, but she’d probably double her current salary as an administrative assistant. She could keep her current expenses and put aside a little every month for them.
They wouldn’t accept it, a voice in the back of her mind argued.
That was beside the point. It was the principle—the fact that she tried. Even that would lessen her guilt, if only a fraction.
She’d barely spoken to her parents in two years, and couldn’t put her finger on exactly why she felt she owed them so much after learning of their deception. Her conscience argued it was probably because they were so good to her for the first twenty-eight years of her life, but she wasn’t quite ready to make peace yet.
She missed them more every day, so maybe she was getting there.
She glanced at the clock—ten minutes before her alarm. There was no point in closing her eyes again, so she got out of bed and got ready for work.
When she arrived at her desk, she found two things.
One, her entire computer was covered in plastic wrap. Tower, screen, keyboard, mouse. All of it. And thick, too—her computer could survive an explosion with the multilayered protection around it.
Two, a steaming cup of coffee from her favorite coffee shop.
She hadn’t even looked up yet, but she knew she’d find Noah’s light on. She was often the first one in, and when his car was in the lot before hers, it was usually because he’d arrived early to mess with her workspace. She grabbed the warm drink that smelled like caramel heaven and walked to his office.
She stopped in the doorway, fixing him with her best glare, trying to pretend he hadn’t completely thrown her for a loop last night.
He didn’t even look up. “Morning.” He said it like nothing was out of the ordinary.
And in a way, it wasn’t. This was standard operating procedure. Last Friday she’d covered everything on his desk with Post-it notes.
It was that pesky proposal that had her stomach turning over itself, but she wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up.
“Your use of plastic isn’t good for the environment,” Mia said.
“Recycle it.” He still hadn’t looked away from his computer screen. A single pink Post-it remained on the back, and she wondered if he’d missed it.
“You gonna help me get it off?”
“Did you help me the time you put cups of water around my desk like a castle moat?”
She had not.
She took a sip of her coffee, savoring the sweet flavor. He knew exactly how she liked it. Without conscious thought, she let out a little sigh.
She lowered the cup to find his gaze on her face.
A few seconds of silence passed and he leaned back in his leather chair. “Stop thinking so hard and just marry me already.”
She nearly dropped hot coffee all over her shoes. Her eyes darted to the open doorway.
“No one else is here,” he said, guessing what she was thinking.
Still, she turned and closed his door before sitting across from him. She cupped the warm drink between her palms, unsure how to begin.
“Mia.” His voice was low and even.
“Noah.” Hers came out unusually high-pitched.