“I thought you two...?”
“No.” He shakes his head once. Then he shakes it again. “No, Emma is... We were in kindergarten together. And she... No. We’re friends, good friends, but nothing like that.”
“Oh.” Oh? Really? No way. Way?
“We’re just friends,” he repeats again. Like he wants to make sure I know it. Like he’s afraid that I don’t believe him. Which, to be fair, I don’t. Look at her. Look at him. “She’s actually... She knows that I...” He wipes a hand down his face, like he always does when he’s overwhelmed or tired. It’s a gesture I’m seeing more of lately. Because Liam has been letting me see more of him. They’re not all bad, the sharp edges and deep grooves of this man’s personality. Unexpected, but not bad at all.
“Knows that you?”
“That I don’t usually... I never... Well, almost never, apparently...” Liam shakes his head, as if to say Never mind, and I remain unsure as to what he almost never does, because he doesn’t continue and I’m not certain that I want to probe. Plus, he’s looking at me in a way I can’t understand, and I’m suddenly feeling like it’s time to skedaddle. “I’m gonna go to sleep, okay?” I smile. “I have an early morning, tomorrow.”
He nods. “Okay. Sure.” But when I’m almost out of the room, he calls after me. “Mara?”
I pause. Don’t turn around. “Yeah?”
“I... Have a good night.”
It doesn’t sound like what he originally meant to say. But I answer, “You, too,” and run back to my room anyway.
Chapter 9
One month ago
“I had lots of fun tonight.”
“Good. Thank you. I mean...” I clear my throat. “So did I.”
Ted is nothing if not predictable. He took me to the Ethiopian restaurant I told him I’d been wanting to try (excellent); he raised topics of conversation I know enough about to feel comfortable, but not so familiar that I got bored within a few minutes; and now, now that he’s walked me to my door, he’s going to lean in and kiss me, just like I could have anticipated when he picked me up exactly three hours ago.
It is, predictably, a good kiss. A solid kiss. It could probably lead into good sex if I decided to invite him inside for a drink. Solid sex. Long-time-no-have sex. We’re talking years, here. Helena would pop the champagne and remind me to dust off the cobwebs.
And yet.
I have no intention to ask him to come in. It’s truly been ages, but this thing with Ted is just... no.
He’s a nice guy, but this is not going to work, for a variety of reasons. That, I tell myself, have nothing to do with how long Liam stared at me earlier today, before Ted pulled up our driveway. Or with the way he instantly averted his gaze when I caught him. Or with the hoarse quality of his voice when he took in my dress and said, “I... You look beautiful.”
He sounded like he wanted to say something else. A little wistful. Almost apologetic. It made me regret spending thirty minutes putting on makeup to go out with someone else, some poor guy I don’t even want to impress for the simple reason that he isn’t...
Yeah.
“I...” I take a deep breath and take a step back from Ted, whose only fault is... not being another guy. I cannot picture him watching The Bachelor with me, which is apparently a deal breaker. The more you know, huh? “I’m gonna go inside now. But thanks for everything. I had a lovely evening.”
If Ted is disappointed, I can’t tell. To his credit, he hesitates only briefly. Then he smiles and retreats to his car without any I’ll call you or See you next time that we both know would be nothing more than lies of politeness. I silently thank the EPA gods for transferring him to another team last week, and make my way inside.
I’m surprised to find Liam in the living room, sitting on the couch with a beer in one hand, a stack of papers in another, ridiculously cute reading glasses perched on his nose. Or maybe I’m not. It’s Saturday night, after all. We usually spend our Saturday nights on that very couch, watching TV, talking about everything and nothing. It makes sense that he’s here, even though I was gone.
For the life of me, I can’t remember a better activity than staying at home in my pj’s and hanging out with my roommate.
“What are you reading?”
Liam glances up at me, takes in my short-but-not-too-short dress, my loose hair, my red lips, then immediately looks back to his papers. “Just a guideline document for work.”
“How to achieve your very own oil spill in ten easy steps?”
His lips quirk upward. “I think you only need the one.”
“Listen, we’ve been over this. It’s okay if you don’t want to quit just yet, but the very least you can do is not work on weekends. Come on, Liam. Do it for the environment.”