I bite my thumbnail. Apparently I did not stop doing that when I turned fourteen. I need something to say. What do I say? Quick, Mara. Think. “Um... So...”
No thoughts. Head empty.
I let my sentence dangle like an overcooked noodle and temporize by turning around to grab a... a what? A spatula? A toaster? A snack! Yes, I’ll have a snack. I think I bought single servings of Cheez-Its. Trying to cut back and all that. Except that I can’t find them in my cupboard. There’s a family box. Another. A third one, in cheddar flavor—Jesus, I have a problem. But the little bags are not... Ah, there they are. Highest shelf, of course. I remember throwing them up there, thinking it’d be a problem for Future Mara.
Future Mara tries, but cannot reach it. So she looks back to ask Liam to grab one for her, and her heart sinks.
He’s staring at where my shirt rode up on my lower back—i.e., my ass.
Well, no. He isn’t. William K. Harding would never stoop so low, and the idea that he’d voluntarily glance at my scrawny ass is laughable. But he is looking at me, there, his lips slightly parted and his hand forgotten in midair, which likely means that he’s... horrified? By my eight-year-old sweatpants, I bet. Or by the explosion of freckles on my skin. Or by... God, what panties do I even have on? Please, let it not be the ones with Jeff Goldblum’s face Hannah got me last year. And how many holes do they have? He’s going to report me to the underwear police. I will be executed by the Victoria’s Secret mob, and—
He clears his throat. “Here.” He bravely overcomes his disgust and comes to stand behind me. He is just massive. So big that he completely blocks the overhead light. For a microsecond I feel warm, oddly tingly. Then he drops a bag next to my hand without me even having to ask, and says, “Should I move them to a lower shelf for you?”
His voice is a little gravelly. Maybe he’s coming down with a cold. I hope I don’t get it. “Um, that would be great. Thanks.” It takes him about half a second. Then we’re both back to our original position, me with my coffee, Liam with his tea, and I realize that in the mildly mortifying adventures of the last minute, I forgot to think of a decent olive branch topic of conversation. Fantastic.
So I blurt out: “The Nationals are doing well this season.” I think? I overheard a dude say it on the bus. Liam’s always playing video games with his dude friends. He probably likes sports, too.
“Oh. That’s... good.” Liam nods.
I nod.
More awkward nodding, and then silence. Again.
Okay. This is way too uncomfortable. I’m going to install motion sensors in every room in the house so I can make sure our paths never cross again—
“What sport is that, again?”
I look up from the coffee I’m furiously stirring. “Mmm?”
“The Nationals. What sport?”
“Ah...” I glance around the kitchen, looking for clues. Find a grand total of none. “I have no idea.”
Liam dunks a tea bag in his mug, a gleam of amusement in his eyes. “Me, neither.”
We leave the room from opposite doors. I wonder whether he’s aware that we almost smiled at each other.
Chapter 5
Four months, two weeks ago
I look out of the window, trying to use my engineering degree to approximate how many meters of snow fell overnight. One? Seventeen? Sadly, there was no Ballpark How Snowbound You Are 101 in my grad school curriculum, so I give up to glance down at my phone.
There’s no way I can make it to work, and my entire team at the EPA is in the same situation. Sean’s car is stuck in his driveway. Alec, Josh, and Evan can’t even make it to their driveway. Ted is on his fifth joke about extreme weather events. The Slack channel pings with a few more messages cursing all forms of precipitation, and then Sean makes the call that we all should just work from home. Accessing the secure server from our EPA-issued laptops. Which for me is a bit of a problem.
So I text Sean:
Mara: Sean, I don’t have my EPA-issued laptop at home with me.
Sean: Why?
Mara: You haven’t issued me one yet.
Sean: I see.
Sean: Well, you can just take the day to answer emails and stuff like that, then. We’re just going to try to fix the electrostatic sprayer issue today, so we don’t really need you.
Sean: And next time make sure to remind me that you don’t have a laptop yet.