SHMAC: Can’t believe dude’s still around.
MARIE: The power of connections. And inertia. What about you?
SHMAC: Work’s interesting.
MARIE: Good interesting?
SHMAC: Politicky interesting. So, no.
MARIE: I’m afraid to ask. How’s the rest?
SHMAC: Weird.
MARIE: Did your cat poop in your shoe again?
SHMAC: No, but I did find a tomato in my boot the other day.
MARIE: Send pics next time! What’s going on?
SHMAC: Nothing, really.
MARIE: Oh, come on!
SHMAC: How do you even know something’s going on?
MARIE: Your lack of exclamation points!
SHMAC: !!!!!!!11!!1!!!!!
MARIE: Shmac.
SHMAC: FYI, I’m sighing deeply.
MARIE: I bet. Tell me!
SHMAC: It’s a girl.
MARIE: Ooooh! Tell me EVERYTHING!!!!!!!11!!1!!!!!
SHMAC: There isn’t much to tell.
MARIE: Did you just meet her?
SHMAC: No. She’s someone I’ve known for a long time, and now she’s back.
SHMAC: And she is married.
MARIE: To you?
SHMAC: Depressingly, no.
SHMAC: Sorry—we’re restructuring the lab. Gotta go before someone destroys a 5 mil piece of equipment. Talk later.
MARIE: Sure, but I’ll want to know everything about your affair with a married woman.
SHMAC: I wish.
It’s nice to know that Shmac is always a click away, especially now that I’m flying into The Wardass’s frosty, unwelcoming lap.