SHMAC: That GRE tweet is becoming a bit of a thing, huh?
It sure is.
If by “bit” he means “a lot.” And if by “thing” he means “shitstorm.”
I have no idea how it even happened. The day I sent the tweet I went to bed after reading comments of people talking about their negative experiences with the test. When I woke up, there was a hashtag (#FairGraduateAdmissions), and dozens of associations of women and minorities in STEM had announced a GRE strike, encouraging students to turn in their grad school applications without the GRE.
@OliviaWeiBio If everyone does it, grad programs will have no choice but to evaluate us based on our experiences, CV, previous efforts, and skills. Basically, what they should already be doing.
Have I mentioned how much I love women in STEM? Because I loooove women in STEM.
Two hours later, a journalist from The Atlantic messaged me, asking for an interview. Then CNN. Then Chronicle of Higher Ed. Then Fox News (as if!). I paired up with Shmac to reach an even wider audience, and together we issued a thousand-word essay summarizing the lack of scientific evidence supporting the use of the GRE as an admission tool. I encouraged news outlets to interview the women who started the hashtag (except for Fox News, which I left on read). Several people came forward and talked to the media about the number of minimum-wage hours necessary to afford the test, about their frustration when wealthier classmates with access to private tutoring performed better, about the crushing disappointment of being rejected by dream institutions despite perfect GPAs and research experience because their scores didn’t meet some arbitrary cutoff by a few percentage points. They’re still doing the rounds, with more people opening up.
#FairGraduateAdmissions is a movement, and it has a real chance at getting rid of this stupid, unfair test. I’ve been all aflutter.
You know who else has been aflutter? Rocío. Who barged into the office declaring: “I won’t be preparing for the GRE anymore, in solidarity with my brethren. Johns Hopkins will have to acknowledge how badass I am from my other application materials.”
I looked up from my laptop and nodded. “I support that.”
“You know why this is happening, right?” She leaned conspiratorially over my desk. “The other day we talked about how shitty the GRE is, and now people are rallying against it because Marie started the conversation. It can’t be a coincidence.”
“Oh,” I stammered, “well, it probably is just a coincidence—”
“There are no coincidences,” she said, beautiful dark eyes staring into mine. “Bee, we both know who I owe this to.”
“Oh—I’m sure—”
“La Llorona.” She took her phone out of her pocket and showed me pictures of beautiful creeks. Her eyes shone. “I’ve been visiting nearby places where she was sighted, leaving little tokens of appreciation.”
“Tokens?”
“Yes. Tarots, poems I wrote extolling the beauty of the macabre, pentagrams made of twigs. The usual.”
“The... usual.”
“I think it’s her way of saying, ‘Rocío, I recognize a kindred spirit, perhaps even a successor in you.’ ” She smiled at me, setting her bag on her desk. “I am so happy, Bee.”
I smiled back and went back to work, relieved that Rocío doesn’t suspect who’s behind WWMD. Sometimes I wonder if Dr. Curie, too, had a secret identity she couldn’t reveal. Period-wise, she could have been Jack the Ripper. Never say never, right?
MARIE: Do you think we’re actually going to get rid of the GRE?
SHMAC: We’re closer than ever, for sure.
MARIE: Agreed. Thank you for helping out, by the way.
Shmac and I have the same number of followers but completely different reaches. I hate thanking dudes for Sausage Referencing™, but truth is, there are plenty of male academics who’d rather guzzle curdled milk than engage with WWMD. Which is fine, because I’d love nothing more than pouring gallons of curdled milk down their throats. Still, #FairGraduateAdmissions can use all the support it can get.
MARIE: How’s The Girl?
SHMAC: How’s Camel Dick?
MARIE: Astonishingly, we’re almost getting along. If we haven’t come to blows yet, are we even collaborating? Also, nice deflection. Tell me about The Girl.
SHMAC: Everything’s fine.
MARIE: Fine has variable definitions. Narrow it down.
SHMAC: How narrow?