SHMAC: The opposite.
MARIE: Did she at least get ugly while she was gone?
SHMAC: She’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
My heart skips a beat. Oh, Shmac.
SHMAC: That aside, I’ve been thinking about how much easier my life would be if I quit and became a cat trainer. Except, I can’t even convince my cat not to piss under my living room carpet.
MARIE: I can see how that would be an issue.
MARIE: Do you ever feel like we put too much of ourselves into this?
SHMAC: On the bad days, for sure.
MARIE: Are there good days? Ever?
SHMAC: My last one was in middle school. Second place at the science fair.
MARIE: Did you win a Toys R Us gift certificate?
SHMAC: Nope. A Marie Curie bobblehead, holding two beakers that glow in the dark.
MARIE: Omg. I would MURDER for that.
SHMAC: If we ever meet in person, it’s yours.
We chat for a long time, and it’s nice to commiserate while it lasts, but once I set my phone on the nightstand I feel hopeless again. The last thing I see before falling asleep is Levi’s stricken expression when I threw at him all the things he did to me, painted on the back of my eyelids like the poster of a movie I never want to watch again.
7
ORBITOFRONTAL CORTEX: HOPE
MY ALARM RINGS, but I let it snooze.
Once. Twice. Three times, five, eight, twelve, why the hell is it still ringing, why did I even set it—
“Bee?”
I open my eyes. Barely. They’re bleary, sticky with sleep.
“Bee?”
Crap. I inadvertently answered a call from an unknown number. “Shisshishee,” I slur. Then I spit out my retainer. “Sorry, this is she.”
“I need you to come in right now.”
I instantly recognize the baritone. “Levi?” I blink at my alarm. It’s 6:43 a.m. I can’t keep my lids up. “What? Come where?”
“Can you be in Boris’s office by seven?”
That makes me sit up in bed. Or as close as I can manage at this hour. “What are you talking about?”
“Do you want to stay and work on BLINK?” His voice is firm. Decisive. I can hear background noise. He must be outside, walking somewhere.
“What?”
“Have you told NIH about what NASA is doing yet?”