He raised his eyes to the heavens as if seeking strength or patience or both. “You’re making this very difficult.”
“Would you rather I lied?”
He studied her again and shook his head. “No. Anything else I should know?”
“Not that I can think of.” Regan wished she knew him well enough to tell what might be going through his head. She’d always been forthright because she found truth to be a better road than lying.
“A man prefers his wife to be virgin.”
“I know that but men can visit women like my mother, and have mistresses with no repercussions from society. I’m not a whore, Dr. Lee. I don’t plan to have relations outside my marriage, and I don’t expect my husband to seek solace with someone else either.”
“So, you’ll accept my needs in the marriage bed without complaint?”
“As long as you extend me the same courtesy.”
“Good women don’t have needs.”
She scoffed, “And you call yourself a doctor. Let’s get to Spring’s before it’s full dark, shall we?”
He looked stunned. She thought he was about to say more. Instead, his mouth clamped shut and they resumed the ride.
They completed the rest of the short journey in silence, and it made Regan wonder again if she’d overplayed her hand by being so truthful.
When they reached Spring’s cabin, she dismounted. “Thank you for the use of the mare. And I did enjoy meeting your daughter. So, where do we stand now?”
“Anna likes you, so we can have the sheriff marry us tomorrow if that’s fine with you.”
“It is.”
“So, there’ll be no misunderstanding, I’m marrying you because Anna needs a mother. I will be faithful to my vows. I will protect you to the best of my ability. But this isn’t or ever will be a love match. I buried my heart when I buried Adele.”
His bluntness hurt, but she shook it off, or at least tried to and replied, “Understood. I will do my best not to embarrass you in any way and raise Anna to the best of my ability.”
“Then we’ll do well together.”
Her chin high, Regan nodded in agreement. “What time tomorrow?”
“Afternoon. Evening. Your choice.”
“How about afternoon, at four? I’d like Spring and Anna to stand up with me.”
“That’s fine.”
“I’ll ride over with Spring.”
“Agreed. Keep the mare until we get you a better mount. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He touched his hat, turned his big bay stallion, and rode off.
As the echoes of his horse’s hooves faded into the darkness, Regan thoughts went back to her sister’s recent wedding. There’d been musicians, tables groaning with food, cakes galore, and hours of laughter and celebration. Regan’s own wedding would probably lack that joyfulness. She’d seen horses change hands with potentially more pomp and circumstance.
I buried my heart with Adele.
His words haunted her as she led the mare to the barn. In spite of her longings to be in a marriage that held as much love as her aunt and uncle shared, she realized hers might not. She also realized how silly she’d been to think of being a mail-order bride as an adventure. Her sister, Portia, warned her that marriage was more than that.
After bedding the mare down for the night, she walked to the cabin to let Spring know she’d returned. Her thoughts then strayed to Anna’s heartbreaking belief that she’d killed her mother, and Regan was angry all over again. How dare the aunt place such a heavy burden on the shoulders of a child. It was undoubtedly difficult enough growing up motherless, but being led to believe she was responsible? Regan wanted to shake Minnie until her teeth rattled loose. There was a lot to sort out going forward and she again pointed an accusatory finger at herself for being so naïve in thinking this mail-order bride business would be a cakewalk, but she was determined all would be well in the end.
Colt found his daughter awake and lying in bed with her drawing paper and pencils. She liked sketching. Upon seeing him, she set everything aside.
“Everything okay with you, Anna?”