“Darling, please stay and let me spend the rest of my life loving you.”
The powerful words almost brought her to her knees. “I love you, too, so please don’t make this harder than it is. Okay?” Her tears, refusing to obey, slid free. She dashed them away. “My love for you is why I’m going home. I don’t want you ridiculed for being with me.”
“By whom? Did someone say something hurtful to you? Was it at the ball?”
“It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t be in your life, and I love you enough to realize that. As I said, you should be with someone different.”
They studied each other in the silence. He opened his arms to her and she ran to him and held him as tightly as his strong arms held her.
He whispered, “You’re killing me, woman.”
“I know and I’m sorry.” And she was, but she couldn’t stay.
He gently raised her chin and she viewedhim through watery eyes. “I’ll never forget you, Braxton Steele.”
Leaning down, he kissed her. It was bittersweet, filled with loss and love, and then became an intense, desperate goodbye to what they’d never have again. She fed on it, and let it fill her because it would be the last time. When it ended, she rested against him, her cheek against his heart, and she let herself hold him and be held for a few moments longer before stepping away. She wiped at her tears. “I’m going to flood this place like Alice.”
He offered a small smile.
“I should finish packing.”
“Okay.”
He viewed her as if needing to commit her to his memory, and she did the same.
He finally turned, exited the room, and she was alone.
Seated in his bedroom illuminated by the flickering glow of the turned-down lamp, he attempted to make sense of what just happened. He’d prepared himself for her return to New Orleans for the wedding but assumed he’d somehow convince her to return with him to Boston. Apparently, that was not to be, and he wanted to throw open a window and scream out his pain into the night. Who hurt her to the point she felt she needed to leave him whenall he needed was her? The question would probably never be answered, adding rage to his anguish. Next week, he’d be traveling back to New Orleans for the wedding. How was he supposed to respond to seeing her again? He'd never force his attentions on her, but could he be around her and not want her smile, her sassiness, her love? That she’d professed her love for him had made his heart sing and offered hope that a solution could be found. The man who loved her like he loved breathing didn’t want them to end this way. He’d talk to her again in the morning.
When he came down for breakfast, Raven wasn’t at the table. He walked into the kitchen to find Kate removing a pan of biscuits from the oven. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, Braxton.”
“Has Raven not come down yet?”
She paused, and he saw sadness in her eyes. “She said to tell you goodbye and that she’d see you at the wedding.”
“She’s left already?”
She nodded. “A hack took her to the train a bit past dawn.”
Disappointment deflated him.
“I’m so sorry,” Kate said softly. “She seemed very unhappy.”
He wondered if he could drive to the station and catch her before she boarded, but he had noidea what time the train would be leaving. With his luck it was pulling out now, or had departed an hour ago. “Thank you, Kate.”
“Do you want your breakfast at the table, or on a tray to take up to your room?”
“The table will do.”
“I’ll bring it directly.”
“Thank you.”
He took a seat in the dining room and viewed the rising sun through the window. For the first time in weeks there’d be no Raven in his day. Or in the days to come.
Raven was driving the buggy and Hazel was seated beside her on the bench. They were on their way to look at a cabin being sold by a family friend named Viola Bing. It wasn’t located very far from Hazel’s home, and if it turned out to be as nice as claimed, Raven planned to use part of her small Fanny inheritance to purchase it. After arriving back in New Orleans three days ago, she’d hoped her longings for Brax would lessen, but they hadn’t. She’d awakened each morning missing his presence beside her in bed, his voice, and his companionship. Not even the excitement of the wedding plans kept her from wondering what he might be doing, how he was spending his time, and if Kate had thrown out her spices and was feeding him bland food again. She longed for him dearly and her heart longed for him even more.