And yet, he kept prolonging the inevitable.
He had told himself it was because everybody had just arrived and was settling into the house party. He’d told himself it was because his bride-to-be hadn’t arrived yet. What if she never came? What if she’d changed her mind?
But these were just excuses. For some unknown reason, he dreaded announcing his upcoming betrothal.
It was difficult to understand his reluctance, even to himself.
It would be a loveless arrangement. It could not be any other way, could it?
Love was a tale people told themselves to feel better about spending their entire lives with a single person. And in many cases, a person not of their choosing.
Because of course, they were not of their choosing. Marriage was a contract, a business deal, and nothing more. Love had nothing to do with it.
Love for another human being was not a real thing.
Richard understood the familial bond. He’d had five—now four—siblings he cared about very much. He understood the sense of responsibility to his brothers and sisters, the need to look out for them and make certain they had everything they needed. He also understood the obligation to keep his father’s legacy well taken care of. Those feelings were practical.
Love for one’s spouse was utter twaddle.
So why then was he dragging his feet when it came to this particular betrothal?
Richard let out a deep sigh.
Perhaps it had something to do with this ghastly house party. From the moment he’d arrived, he’d been accosted by his sisters and their husbands, and they all looked so dreadfully happy. And so very much in love.
And perhaps that little fact had shaken his earlier convictions about love. Perhaps, love did exist. It just didn’t exist forhim.
Richard grimaced.
No. That wasn’t it.
He’d never craved the love of a woman. He wouldn’t get maudlin about that. There was just one thing that could get his heart wavering. And that was a family.
Seeing Samantha, his youngest sister, with her husband and their tiny, cooing babe, seeing Isabel with her new husband and her new—albeit undisciplined—stepdaughter reminded Richard of a feeling of being in the bosom of a happy, carefree family.
A family they had once had.
Richard remembered bustling mornings in the Lewis household, their parents trying very hard to rein in their robust children; the utter chaos as the children ran amok doing whatever they wished. Their house had been full of noise and excitement.
Their days had been full of teasing, laughter, and yes, the reprimands. But he also remembered the quiet evenings—their parents, sitting by the fire, cuddling with all six of their children.
The simpler times.
And if before he’d been happy to betroth himself to a complete stranger and live amicably, but independently like strangers living under the same roof, now he was second guessing everything.
Richard shook the sentimental thoughts out of his head. This mood was bound to pass.
It was a momentary lapse of judgment; he was certain.
He hardened his heart and straightened to his full length. He needed to forget about the images of a happy childhood and his smiling parents cooing blissfully into each other’s ears. If he hadn’t experienced love in his six and thirty years of existence, he would not experience it now.
Besides, his duty called. He needed to marry, and he needed to do it fast.
Richard nodded resolutely to himself and strode to the exit. He needed to find Isabel and make his impending betrothal official.
* * *
Miss Josephine Claremont, or simply Jo to her friends, looked at the clock on the mantelpiece as her foot beat a nervous staccato against the floor.