Now, that was an outright lie. After he donned his jacket and buttoned it, he gently removed the bottle from her hand. “What are you missing from your life that you need to find it through your irresponsible and at times questionable actions?”
For if anyone was seeking direction from being lost, it was her. Compassion tightened his chest as he stared at her, and his heart went out to her. It must have been hell on her growing up within the Storme family, and it had obviously taken a toll on her.
“Oh, Royce, it suddenly feels as if I’ve been tossed into an abyss roiling with confusion and fear.” She plopped down on the ground to fumble with her white silk stockings. In that ordinary action and with her eyes glittering with sudden tears, she seemed vulnerable and fragile. “My father died years ago. I didn’t know him all that well, for he chose to spend the bulk of his time away from his family, especially after he sent Caroline away to the institution.”
“Well, damn.” He took a drink from the brandy bottle. “I know how that feels. Well, the part about losing a parent. My mother died ten years ago. I was a young man sowing wild oats when I wasn’t studying like mad in order to enter medical college.”
“Grief doesn’t truly fade. It merely sits there and simmers, waiting for me to be caught unaware.” She fit the slippers to her feet. “My mother is near death. You know she is, for you looked in on her when you examined Fanny the other day.”
“I won’t deny your assessment, and I fear she only has weeks at this point. Consumption, in its last stages, completely ravages the lungs.” He probably shouldn’t have said that, for it wouldn’t set her mind at ease, but he didn’t believe in lying to a patient’s family merely for the sake of softening a blow.
A sound suspiciously like a stifled sob echoed through the relative quiet of the night. Isobel plucked a few pins from her hair. “Now Fanny is increasing, which means my brother’s fractured attention on me will become even more so. Caroline is lost to me; she refuses to see any of us even if she lives with Cousin Andrew.” Her sigh was heartbreaking. “Above all, I have this anger trapped inside me, never moving but always growing.”
“What are you angry about?” Now they were delving into the root of her problems. Royce hesitated to breathe for fear of breaking the spell that allowed her to speak freely.
“I’m not certain.” She shrugged. Once all the pins were expelled, she twisted the dark tresses into a quick chignon at her nape and stabbed the pins into them again. “Some of it is for the childhood I never had; it was stolen with worry about my sister and my cousins. Everyone I’d ever cared for was suddenly gone from my life without explanation until I was much older.”
“It was all put out into the open at Christmastide last year.” That wasn’t a question, for he’d witnessed the drama that only the Storme family could put on.
“Yes.” Isobel nodded. “I’m still struggling to understand. And when I thought I’d rediscovered my cousins and had hoped they’d play a bigger part in my life, it was only to find they were already ensconced in their own.” She sniffed and scrubbed at a trail of tears on her cheek. “Once more I’ve been forgotten, and that makes me angrier still.”
“Not by everyone, surely.” Royce put the bottle of brandy into the bag waiting nearby. Then he donned his own footwear.
“That’s what it feels like, but then you came along, and I’m suddenly wanted by someone.” She raised her gaze to his. It was too dark to properly read the emotions there.
“Yet you keep on seeking scandal to gain my notice.”
She laughed, the tinkling sound at odds with the heavy subject matter. “Once I have it, I wish to ensure that I’ll keep it.”
“There is no danger of that, Isobel.” He offered her a hand, and when she slipped her fingers into his palm, he hoisted her to her feet. “I’m well and truly fascinated by you.” If only to see how else she’d upend his world despite the potential scandal.
“What a sweet statement, Doctor.” She squeezed his hand. “Thank you.” For the space of a few heartbeats, she held his gaze. “As I’ve mentioned before, things are rapidly changing around me, like sand is shifting beneath my feet. What will become of me once Mother passes? I’m very much afraid I’ll vanish between the cracks as everyone goes about their own lives.”
They were valid concerns. “I somehow doubt you’ll let that happen.” No one could ignore a storm like her.
“And still I’m angry. I don’t want to become what Cousin Andrew did before he found Sarah.” She hung on tight to his hand as if she’d be lost if she let go. “I’m unable to release the emotions stuck inside me. There must be a way since my cousins and even William have managed it, but no one has told me the secret.”
“The only secret to doing that is to make a conscious decision to no longer give it the attention it desires, else it will only grow and fester.” This sort of thing was more Trey’s area of expertise. “If you’d like, you can come by the clinic and talk to my brother. He knows more about the human brain than I do.”
“Can he help me feel less like a powder keg, less like a storm hungry for destruction?” The words were quiet, timid, which wasn’t like her at all.
“Never lose hope. It’s worth a try. Until then, if you should wish to talk, I’m always here.” He easily pulled her into a loose embrace. “I’m not certain if that’s what an affair includes, but to my way of thinking, both participants should be able to rely on each other for things beyond the physical.”
“Thank you.” With a tiny sigh, she melted against him, and he held her tight.
They remained like that for long moments. Not talking but communing on a different level than intercourse had provided. Finally, he pulled away enough to peer into her face. “What now? I took your innocence, Isobel. Something must be done.”
“Why must anything be done?” She retreated beyond his touch with a frown. “Can we not remain friends while enjoying the benefits of continuing our affair?”
Oh, dear Lord.The woman was a nightmare wrapped in his wildest fantasies. “You’re hardly the mistress type though.”
“How would you know?” One of her eyebrows arched. She popped her hands upon her hips, that only served to draw his attention down the length of her body to the delight of his hardening member. “Have you kept a mistress before?”
“Of course not.”
“Then how would you know?” she repeated with an air of expectation.
Royce sighed. “While I take no exception to continuing whatever this is,” he gestured between them, “I rather think we’ll have to marry if word of this tryst gets out.”