Chapter Sixteen
Fanny was adrift in wonder as she took a position on the marble dance floor with William. The moment he slid a hand to the small of her back and held her hand in the other, exhilaration buzzed down her spine, doing its part to beat back the knots of anxiety tugging in her stomach. This was a true test of her self-confidence, the putting herself out there in front of the ton and letting everyone see that she had a limp, wasn’t their image of womanly perfection, that she wasn’t in the usual style but that it didn’t matter.
Then the musicians played the first notes of the waltz, and William started them off. There was no more time to let doubts simmer, for she had to concentrate on the steps. Of course she’d been taught by a dancing master during her schooling—everyone was so they’d be ready for their Come Outs. But she’d basically needed to re-learn how to move, how to glide with the limp, attempt to make the handicap work for her. It took some doing, for William was taller than she and he was exuberant in his excitement, but she managed it.
Somewhat.
Step, step, drag-step. Step, step, drag-step.And when the first turn came and she touched his hand above her head, twirling about to end up back in his arms, she almost gave into joyful giggles, for she’d done it and hadn’t fallen or stumbled. Her reticule swung merrily from her wrist.
“You’re doing well, Francesca,” he whispered as they completed the first circuit of the room. “I’m proud of you, that you’ve found your courage, that you’ve chosen me to show it off with.”
Heat jumped into her cheeks. “I suppose I grew tired of hiding behind the limp. As you said, I was using it to keep people away, to hold them off before they could reject me.” It was more exercise than she was accustomed to and her ankle slightly ached, but she wouldn’t give up this time with him.
“I’m glad you decided to let everyone see the real you. Perhaps now they’ll come to know the woman I have.” Wicked promise glittered in his gray-blue eyes. “The woman who continues to surprise and distract me.”
Her breath caught for a second, and if she weren’t besotted with him already, those words would have done it. “You saw me when I was invisible.” Dancing with him felt much like flying, for her feet scarcely touched the ground, or so it seemed as she smiled up at him.
“As if I could overlook you.” At their next turn, he held her closer when they came back together. “Especially tonight, when you’re positively stunning in that color, and with your grandmother’s combs in your hair. You’re like an exotic bird blown into London upon a storm, a bird who decided to linger… for me.” The admiration in his eyes encouraged her to dive into the storm-tossed pools, but the eloquence of his speech left her heartbeat quickening.
Had he always been so romantic?
“I wore this gown so I could use the fan you gave me. Shades of blue helps to soothe me when worries start to mount.” When she happened to peer beyond his shoulder, her gaze fell upon his cousin. “The Earl of Hadleigh is watching us with a scowl.”
Did he not approve of a match between them?
William snorted. “Don’t read anything into it. That’s Andrew’s natural expression.” He dipped his head closer to hers and whispered, “Besides, he’s no doubt thinking of giving me a thrashing if I don’t come up to scratch for you.”
She gasped. “You discussed a future between us with him?”
“Yes, before you arrived. Andrew told me not to cock things up, hinted that you were good for me.” His chuckle tickled through her chest and sent renewed awareness pushing along every nerve ending.
“Well, the earl isn’t wrong,” she couldn’t help responding with a laugh of her own. Never had she felt so light or carefree with Lord Wainwright as she did with William. Even at a crime scene, he treated her with respect. It mattered so much.
“No, he’s not, damn his eyes. I never thought I’d agree with my cousin about anything.” His grin was the height of charming and made her knees wobble. “Oh, and he wasn’t best pleased about our… activities in his study last week.”
“Oh, good heavens.” The heat in her cheeks intensified. “He knows? Did you tell him?” How embarrassing.
“I did not, for that remains private between you and I, but he’s not a stupid man. I suspect he had an inkling of our relationship before I was even aware of my feelings for you.” His gaze bore into hers. “And in the event you didn’t know either, I’ve come to care for you exceedingly much, Francesca.”
“You have been since that afternoon in my drawing room. I saw it in your eyes even then,” she murmured, and when his eyes darkened with the same need that flowed through her veins, she missed a step. In stumbling, she brushed against the hard wall of his chest, and he took the opportunity to hold her closer than propriety demanded.
“Yes. I won’t deny it.” The slight pressure of his hand at the base of her spine reminded her of how powerful and strong he was, what he did for his livelihood, of how dangerous his professional was, of how she could lose him.
Fanny trembled. He hadn’t solved those cases yet, and she didn’t want to have him back in the field without first telling him what was on her heart. “Could we go somewhere more private? There are words I would say to you that can’t wait.”
“I’m prompted to do the same.” He glanced about as the waltz wound down. “Perhaps we should remove to the terrace. Do you mind the chill?”
“Not at all. It’s rather warm in here, and I’ve always felt an affinity for the cold. Besides, it’s nearly spring, and that’s inspiring.” She let him lead her off the floor as their steps took them to the French-paned doors which had been thrown open. As of yet, no other couples had joined them, so she and William were alone.
“It’s odd to say, but I’m a different man than I was when I arrived here tonight.” He strolled to the low stone wall that enclosed the terrace.
In the darkened night, were the countess’ prized gardens. In the summertime months, she grew roses, which had garnered her great notice and acclaim for their beauty and brilliance. Beyond that, the parkland of Berkley Square beckoned, and even in the frosty nighttime world, it was breathtaking, especially with the millions of stars dotting the velvety sky.
“I can understand that.” She followed him more slowly, and when she came abreast, he turned. The softness of his grin sent flutters into her belly. “Perhaps that’s the purpose of finding oneself in love; it changes us from the inside out until we become the people we’ve always been meant to be.”
“It’s a mystery.” He took her gloved hands in his. “But I am certain I’m a better person for having known you, and when I’m in your company, you make me feel not quite as broken or alone.”
“How sweet.” Fanny clung to his fingers. She didn’t want to waste any more time. “I wanted to tell you formally that I declined Lord Wainwright’s intent to propose. It should have been done when you and I first came together at your cousin’s house, but I was conflicted at the time—”