“Y…yes.” Her hand on the barrel shook. Surely, he couldn’t mean… her.
“Good. I want no lies between us this time.” Brand took a deep breath and let it ease out. “Since the day I met you at that fair, I knew my life would forever change.”
“The day you set out to deceive me.”
This time it was Captain Bingham who answered. “Miss, I don’t know either of you from Adam, but I do know Captain Storme’s reputation. He’s as good as they come, so please, hear him out.”
“I’ll try, but he broke my heart, Captain. A woman doesn’t soon forget that.” And now that she’d experienced what it felt like to show a little backbone and spirit, she wasn’t keen on returning to a life that stifled them. Never again would she let men have control over her future or how she should act.
“I understand. However, men in love often act rashly. That only means they’ll be extremely faithful and loyal.” He looked at Brand. “Please, continue. Your half hour is rapidly coming to an end, and we must maintain our schedule.”
“Right.” Brand rubbed a hand over the side of his face. Then he landed his gaze on her. The gray depth was a summer storm. “I’ve apologized for my behavior time out of hand, so I won’t waste this precious second chance with you by doing that.” He paused, his head slightly tilted. “The second I kissed you, I was intrigued. But when you showed an affinity for sailing, when you accepted me without questions or disgust because of my missing eye, when you didn’t push me on things I wasn’t ready to square with, I knew you were a woman unparalleled.”
“Oh,” she breathed as tears prickled the backs of her eyelids.
“You’ve brought light to illuminate my darkness; you gave me back hope when I thought I had none. You showed me there is more than one way to portray myself as a decent man, and you make me want to be a better one every day that goes by. For you… for me.” He came a step closer, but there was too much space between them for her to touch him. “I adore seeing you on my sloop with the wind in your unbound hair. I rejoice watching you come into your own confidence and seeing your eyes light with joy at the littlest things like tying a knot correctly.”
“Well, some of them are frustrating buggars,” she whispered, to the murmured agreement of a few sailors who’d joined the circle around them.
“Indeed, and they’re just like trying to navigate emotions. You unlocked all of that for me the longer we came to know each other.” His smile was sad, and her heart ached for him. “However, none of that compares to how I feel when we’re lying together watching the stars at night, sharing our hopes and dreams. So much so that I began dreaming a new one after the night we went to Lord Nelson’s ball.”
The night when they’d come together twice and each time she’d felt as if they’d exchanged pieces of their souls with each other. “And?” She could hardly force out the word, so great was the tightness in her throat.
“I knew then I wanted you in my life forever. At that moment, I didn’t wish to win the damned wager; I only I wanted you. But my past was a count against me, as were the lies I’d told in the beginning.”
“Everyone has a past, Brand,” she whispered. “Everyone has chapters we don’t let anyone else read for fear of what people will think of us, but love helps us overlook that, just as God wipes all of it clean.”
“I don’t know if God would forgive my trespasses against you. I hope you can forgive me… eventually.” He shook his head, implored her with his gaze, but she remained silent. “You distracted me in the best of all ways each time I spent time with you, and I had already developed feelings for you, but I fell in love with you at the ball and afterward…” As his words drifted off, heat infused her cheeks. “There is nothing for me if you’re not in my life; I am nothing if you leave.”
Her breathing came in short pants. She dug her fingernails into the wood of the barrel’s top lest she faint away in the heat and beneath the dozens of stares. Her heart squeezed first with anticipation and then joy. “Give me a reason to stay, Captain Storme. That’s all I ever asked of you, but everything else got in the way.” That was exactly how life worked, a balance of good and bad, and the conscious effort to keep hold of the good.
“Indeed.” A shuddering sigh escaped him. Slowly, he sank to his knees before her and he took one of her hands. “All of this is to ask you a most important: Elizabeth Hayhurst, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?” The hand holding hers shook. “I have nothing but a sloop to my name—”
“You have the schooner,” she couldn’t help interrupting.
“No, I gave it up. I’ll share it with John Butler and the others, for our shipping business. There is something else I wanted much more.” Such love shone in his eye that she bit her bottom lip to keep from crying. “Despite everything, I vow to keep you in comfort and happiness if you’ll have me.”
Oh, good heavens, he’s finally declared himself!But she tamped on the pure joy that rose in her chest for fear all of this would dissolve. “Will we remain in Ipswich?”
“Do you wish to?”
“Not particularly, but I do want to be close to the sea.” Yet… “But Ipswich holds a dear place in my heart.”
Brand and some of the sailors surrounding them chuckled. “I think we can all appreciate that sentiment.” The smile he flashed her warmed her insides. “We’ll go wherever you wish. It matters not to me as long as I have you.”
Flutters filled her heart and echoed low in her belly. “You’re a risk. I can’t deny that.”
“Aye, but only you can say if I’m worth it.”
Hadn’t she always kept that in mind during their courtship, make believe though it was? “Can you promise me you’ll remain faithful to me for the rest of your life?” This was unconditional. If he continued his rakish ways, she wouldn’t have him.
A faint flush swept over his sodden collar and into his neck. “Sweeting, you taught me how to love, you brought it out in me, showed me what it is to feel belonging to one person. How could I ever want that with any other woman?”
Her heart trembled. That was one of the most romantic things he’d ever said. For long moments, she regarded him, thought everything through, examined every aspect of their relationship and its hastened, premature ending, weighed the risk against the reward. Despite all of it, she loved him still. Each beat of her heart called his name, and she would never feel whole unless he was in her life. The remainder of her hurt and anger faded, and gladly she ushered in the waiting joy. It filled her, left her breathless, swept the pain from her soul and left her new. “You look like a dog’s breakfast.” But he was the dearest man she’d ever seen.
“John told me that this morning.” He quickly finger combed his hair.
“You have no livelihood.” She’d be a ninny to agree to his suit.