His frown, as well as the worry and sadness pooled deep in the depths of his hazel eyes, tightened the knots already in her belly. “I’ve seen for myself how animated the captain is when he speaks about you, how respectful he is, how utterly infatuated he’s become.” He flicked his regard between her and Brand, but the words did nothing to alleviate the concern that had caused the muscles in her stomach to cramp. “Just as I see with my own eyes how much you’ve come to care for the captain. Despite everything, does it really matter how your association came about?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.” Panic built and stacked within her chest. Something was afoot and it wouldn’t bode well for her. She slammed her gaze back to Brand. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.” Perhaps he owed gambling debts and was embarrassed about it. Or perhaps he’d lied about having a mistress. As long as he hadn’t lain with the woman during the time Brand had been with her, she could forgive his past. Men were men; but having faith and knowing salvation meant sins were covered, wiped out, forgotten. “No matter what the obstacle, if we talk about it, we can overcome it.”
A red wash of color crept over Brand’s collar and surged into his cheeks. “Elizabeth, please. For all things holy on land or sea, please go to the private dining room I’ve reserved for us.” The plea, couched in a rough, whispered voice, intensified her misgivings. When she didn’t move, he sighed and hung his head. “You must understand this was all thought up before you and I met.”
“What was?”
He shook his head. “The wager.”
“What are you talking about?”
Brand didn’t answer.
She glanced at Mr. Butler. “What is he trying to say?” Quick tears pricked the backs of her eyelids, for whatever the omission was, it was large enough and horrible enough that Brand and his best friend were both racked with embarrassment and shame about it.
“John, for the love of God, do something.” Stark desolation raged over Brand’s face.
“Go ahead into the room you’ve reserved.” He waved the captain away. “I’ll attempt to mitigate the blow if I can.”
Gratitude briefly shined in Brand’s eye before fear trampled on it. “Thank you.” He looked at Elizabeth, and instead of fondness or affection, there was nothing but self-loathing in his face. “Give me ten minutes to gather my thoughts. Then I’ll tell you everything and I hope…” A heavy swallow followed. “I hope you’ll forgive me.” Without another word, he turned tail and ran through the public room to the door that opened into the private dining corridor.
What did he mean? He’d whispered those words to her last night before he’d sent her flying on the deck of his sloop. Why did he so desperately want her forgiveness? With shaking hands, she clutched her damp shawl as she peered at Mr. Butler. “What is happening?”
“Let me ask you a question in answer.” The man rubbed a hand over his chin. When his two fellows at the table continued to laugh and whisper, he sent them a fierce look that instantly quelled their noise. “Please show some respect. Put yourself in her position and see what you’d possibly feel.” As they avoided directly looking at both him and her, Mr. Butler sighed. He met her gaze. Sorrow pooled deep in his eyes. “Do you truly love Brand?”
“Yes.” Elizabeth nodded even though the uncertainty tore at her insides. “At least, I thought I did after last night.” Her chin trembled, but she ignored it. “Yet your behavior and that of your friends has given me pause.” She held his gaze, willing him to relieve her sudden fears. “Unless you know of a reason why my feelings are misplaced.”
“The fact that you can see into the soul of my best friend, look past his fears and insecurities, is a good first step. I worry often about him, for he chooses to avoid anything that makes him uncomfortable or requires him to peer inward for self-reflection.”
“Yes, he has a tendency to ignore his feelings.”
“Indeed.” He paused, his lips pressed together in a tight line before speaking again. “I’m sorry that I had a part in this deception.”
“Deception?” Cold foreboding sat heavy in the pit of her belly.
The man waved a hand. “I fear what was done in the spur of the moment as a lark will now tear apart something that would have ultimately seen the captain push himself into being a better man.”
A sick feeling rose into her throat, the origin of which she still couldn’t say. “Will you not give me a hint, Mr. Butler? I shall go mad shortly.”
“I’m afraid that’s not for me to say, Miss Hayhurst. You need to speak with—”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Needing an end to the delay, Elizabeth spun on her heel. She marched across the floor, ignoring the curious glances from a few patrons. At the door, she wrenched it open and then surged into the narrow, dimly lit corridor, traversing it quickly until she arrived at the third dining room. The second she stepped over the threshold and into the room, her world tilted.
Brand was locked in a passionate embrace with the buxom barmaid. His back was against an ornate longcase clock that didn’t keep the correct time, his hands seemingly all over her chest and shoulders. When the barmaid shifted her stance, Elizabeth caught a glimpse of her bodice eschew with one breast on display.
“How could you, Brand Storme!” Her heart shattered into a million pieces the longer the kiss continued. The pain in her chest caught her by surprise as her heart squeezed. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think properly. Why had he done this knowing she was just outside the room?
In the heavy silence that followed, Brand shoved the barmaid away from his person. He dragged the back of his hand across his mouth. “Elizabeth, this is not what it looks like.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Really? Because it seems you’ve rather developed a taste for used goods.” Oh, goodness, that wasn’t at all charitable of her to say, but these were extreme circumstances.
“You should talk,” the barmaid said as she set her bodice to rights. “You fucked him same as me, so which one of us is the better woman?” A bruise was forming on her left cheekbone. Had Brand given her that? Never had he been prone to violence before. Embarrassment burned in her cheeks from the other woman’s use of vulgarity.
“Bloody hell!” Brand uttered a strangled sort of sound. “That’s not true! But I can guess at who’s given her that shiner. The bastard’s lurking about, I’ll wager.”
She frowned, couldn’t follow the convoluted pattern of thought.
“Listen to him, acting like he doesn’t want the secret out.” A knowing light had entered the barmaid’s eyes as she glanced between them. “I’ll wager I service him better since I know all the tricks, especially what he likes.”