Finally, he nodded. “Aye. We’ll take a discreet exit once the dance ends.”
“Good.” This decision would change the course of her life. For good or for ill, she would accept whatever consequence or responsibility came of it, for all she wanted in this moment was Brand. At least she could have that before she left England. Quick tears jumped into her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but he saw her distress anyway.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered as the music ended and each couple drifted to a halt. Polite applause circled through the room. “Why the tears? Have I done something amiss?”
“No.” She swallowed down the ball of emotion in her throat. “What a ninny I am.” With her fingers on his sleeve, she let him lead her from the floor, and then out a side door that passed a few other rooms where cards had been set up. “I have two more days with you, and then…” Oh, she couldn’t finish the sentence. It was too sad.
And tragically unfair.
How had she fallen so hard and fast for this man in such a short period of time?
“I understand.” His muscles beneath her fingers went taut. He quickened his pace. “I think Lord and Lady Nelson will excuse my bad manners if we don’t give our excuses, don’t you?”
Elizabeth had no idea, for the inner workings of high society were beyond her. Oh, dear. If Brand declares himself and offers marriage, is this the sort of life I’ll need to live? She didn’t know if she could do it without his connections and peers finding her lacking. Ipswich was a rather cozy place, but London? The thought of the capital, crowded and large, sent chills down her spine. Then another idea occurred to pour more heat into her already flaming cheeks. “Will everyone know the reason we’re leaving early?”
“That’s doubtful. And even if they saw us, they won’t know our destination.” Once they’d left the house and began walking the road that circled the harbor, he spoke again. “I want you to know I don’t take your decision lightly.”
“You’re a gentleman through and through.”
He snorted. “I’ve said it before. I’m not a good man. Now who is seeing only what they want?”
“I’m not wrong.” But what did he mean? It wasn’t the first time he’d said that. What worried him that kept prompting the words?
Their flight through the cooling summer’s darkness was both thrilling and fraught with anxiety. After tonight, she wouldn’t be the same. Fornication was a huge sin and could possibly see her cast out of the church. Would she be fit to minister to the needy in India? Or worse yet, what if, once Brand bedded her, he didn’t want her any longer? Where would that leave her? And there was one more worry to consider. What if this coupling resulted in a pregnancy? Could she raise a child alone and abroad? Or would William, obnoxious prick that he was, leave her and condemn her in Ipswich with no recourse?
I’ve never been so confused before.There were no answers, but that didn’t lessen her need to be with Brand, especially knowing her time with him was so limited. Her faith in him as a gentleman didn’t waver, but if she found herself increasing, would he do the honorable thing? And if he did, could she willingly trap him in a marriage he didn’t want, for he wasn’t in love with her.
I wish I knew what the right thing was for me to do. Do I dare leap before I look?
“Don’t worry. Everything will come out right,” he murmured as they found the Charlotte in one of the slips.
A minute later, Brand lifted her onto the sloop. When he joined her, he took her immediately into his arms and treated her to a series of long, drugging kisses that had her senses reeling and her traitorous body reacting to his touch.
And fallen sinner that she was, she wanted him.
“There is nothing I love more than kissing you on my ship.” He threaded his hands into her hair. Pins and combs were removed to ping on the decking. As her tresses tumbled down her back, he gazed at her as if he’d never seen anything so marvelous. “Ah, Lizzy. What am I to do with you?” he asked so softly, she wasn’t certain if he was talking to her.
“Well, you can kiss me again to start,” she shot back while a cloud of recklessness swirled about her.
“I like how you think.” Tenderly, he drew her into his embrace, watching her the whole time that he lowered his mouth to hers.
Even more gently, he moved his lips over hers as he tangled his fingers in her tresses and slowly tilted back her head. When her throat was exposed, he nibbled and licked a sensual path beneath her jaw and then downward to tease the hollow behind her collarbones, and finally sought to drive her mad by trailing feather weighted kisses over the slopes of her breasts above the gown’s bodice.
“Brand,” the word was propelled by need as she clung to his lapels.
His eye darkened to that of a storm-tossed, cloudy sea. “Come with me.” He took her hand, led her to a hatch and guided her down a short wooden ladder into the only cabin of the vessel. Two narrow bunks occupied the low-ceilinged room, one on each side and encased in an impressive wooden frame. A small circular table was secured to the floor between them. A stout wooden chair that matched the bed framework rested at the far end near a few portholes, a book lay abandoned on its surface. “This is where I sleep and unwind when out on longer trips that mean I can’t immediately return home.” The top of his head brushed the ceiling, and most of the time, he was obliged to slightly stoop.
“It’s wonderfully cozy.” In her mind’s eye, she saw him reading an outdated copy of The Times while she darned a pair of his socks nearby, perhaps with a belly swollen with child. The intensity of that vision made her tremble.
“And more importantly, it’s private.” Once more he caught her up into his embrace. Blatant need reflected in his eye, the same force that had driven her to this decision. “I’ve waited long for this.” Emotion left his voice rough and entirely too delicious.
“While I’ve only just realized how much I wanted it… wanted you.” Elizabeth laid a palm against his cheek. “This night has been… beyond any dream I could possibly have,” she admitted in a whisper.
“It’s not nearly over, and hopefully, when it’s done, you’ll dream of me often.” This time when his lips met hers, the tenderness in the touch transported her far away from Ipswich and her worries. Brand slid a hand along her back, undoing the tiny buttons until her gown gaped about her shoulders.
Shivers racked her body; awareness rippled over her skin as he eased the garment from her arms and helped it slide down her torso. When he tugged it over her hips, it pooled at her feet with a soft sigh. She looked into his face and swallowed to encourage moisture into her suddenly dry throat. “I… I’m not certain what I should do.”
“Nothing except enjoy yourself.” He rubbed his knuckles over one of her hardening nipples through the fabric of her petticoat and shift. A grin curved his sensual lips. “You’re exquisite.”