The earl glowered. “Water is the key. Staring out over the water makes a man think.”
“Ah.” The knots tightened in her belly as worry circled through her insides. Once all the ruminating was finished, would Finn kill himself by drowning? Hot sour bile climbed the back of her throat. Quickly, she swallowed. “We’re wasting time here. Let’s go.”
*
There’d been notalking in the coach on the ride to Hyde Park, which went faster than usual, for the earl had implored the driver to throw caution to the wind and drive to the park with haste. He’d also ordered the man to aim for a little used gate, for Finn would wish for privacy.
By the time they’d arrived, a light rain had started once more. Jane drew her thin wrap about her shoulders as she alighted from the coach. Clouds obscured the moon and starlight, rendering the park as dark as pitch. In the distance, the gentle lapping of the Serpentine against its banks reached her ears, as did the drum of the rain upon tree leaves.
Trembles of unease played her spine as she followed the earl and Lady Hadleigh, as well Rodgers over the wet ground. Her dainty satin slippers were soon wet, but she didn’t care. She had no need of any of the luxuries of life, for without Finn it was all meaningless.
And then she saw him, sitting in his Bath chair at the bank. Unfortunately, he’d chosen the deepest end of the Serpentine for his final act. She sucked in a breath. “Finn,” she whispered.
“Damnation.” Andrew forged forward through the undergrowth. “What the hell are you thinking, Finn? You’ve worried our mother, and once more you’re selfishly putting your life at risk.”
“Oh, that man has absolutely no sense of timing or compassion.” She darted past the others, and when she caught up to the earl, she yanked on his arm. “That is not the way to handle this.” Not caring she made a terrible mistake in man-handling an earl, she dragged him away from Finn until they’d rejoined the dowager and Rodgers.
“What the devil is the meaning of this?” the earl exclaimed in tones that probably echoed through the park. “I am the head of this family and I’ll say what I please.”
Jane glared at him. Too bad his wife had elected to remain behind, not wishing to tramp about in the weather. The man needed a tether. “You haven’t been there for Finn in a manner that he needed, haven’t supported him in more years than you can probably count.” If she were already in the soup, dressing him down wouldn’t matter. “Quite frankly, you don’t have that privilege now, Your Lordship.”
She held up a hand when he sputtered to find a comment, but she then addressed the dowager. “I don’t know you well, but Finn also doesn’t need a mother’s intrusion or her best intentions either.”
The earl snorted. “I suppose you think he needs you? The woman who has no doubt prompted this bit of madness?”
Heat burned in Jane’s cheeks. Perhaps that was true enough. She pushed the thought away. “Absolutely he does, and I need him. I think I always have.” Tears choked her. “Go home, Your Lordship. Take your mother and return to the townhouse. Wait for us there.”
“I will not.” The earl crossed his arms at his chest.
“Andrew, please,” the dowager pleaded. “What she says has merit. She’s become close to Finn over the weeks.”
Jane pressed her lips together as she trembled with cold and fear. “Rodgers can remain here to help with logistics, but I promise you this. I will bring Finn home alive.” For she wouldn’t accept anything less. Her own life would be empty without him. Wasn’t that what heroines in her favorite books did, rescue their men? Then it all became too much. Tears welled in her eyes. A sob escaped no matter how hard she tried to mask her emotion. “At least I hope to, but we quarreled, and he keeps too many secrets… I don’t see how any of that will resolve itself.”
“Oh, you poor thing.” The dowager stepped forward. She slipped her arms around Jane and hugged her. “Shh. You’ve been so strong when confronted with all of this, and you need to be, perhaps always will where my son is concerned.”
“Yes.” For one second, Jane let her emotions run unchecked. She cried against the countess’ shoulder, for she sorely needed a mother’s counsel at the moment. “I don’t know how to be any way else. Finn’s in a bad place right now, but I believe he won’t always be. I hope I can reach him because…” Another sob escaped. “I love him, my lady. If he’s not with me…”
“I understand.” The dowager set her at arm’s length and held her gaze despite the men who looked on. “Love isn’t the walk in the wildflowers and rainbows everyone hopes it will be. It’s complicated and painful and it makes us feel wretched much of the time.”
“Exactly.” Jane wiped at her eyes.
The countess’ smile was tight and didn’t reach her eyes. “Go to Finn. Save him. Tell him what’s in your heart while I talk some sense into my other son.” She looked at the earl, who huffed out a breath. When she rested her gaze once more on Jane, she squeezed her hands. “Welcome to the family. It’s so nice to have females underfoot instead of males.”
Jane shook her head as confusion swirled through her thoughts. “Finn hasn’t declared himself.”
“He will.”
“But the way things are right now—”
“Don’t give up hope, and don’t give up on my son.” She released Jane’s hands. “Time is of the essence, so we’ll go. I’ll be sure to send the coach back here for you.”
As they boarded the vehicle, Jane turned to Rodgers. “Stay here. Let me talk to him first. Then come once three quarters of an hour have passed. No matter what you might hear, don’t come for us sooner than that lest it push Finn over the edge.”
“God be with you, my lady,” the valet murmured. “I can’t imagine life without my friend.” Emotion graveled his voice.
“Agreed, but I will bring him home.”
“If anyone can, it’s you.”