Chapter Eighteen
Jane accepted a flute of champagne from the duke as she stifled a sigh. Thoughts went through her mind like ponies on a loop but they only served to confuse her more. The events of the evening had been exhausting, yet her chest felt empty as if someone had stolen her heart and absconded with it like a thief in the night.
Above everything, she remained furious at Finn for deceiving her. She couldn’t believe he’d been playing games with her for the last few weeks. What sort of man would carry around an engagement ring for one woman while courting another? If that’s even what he’d been doing with her. That simply wasn’t the type of man he was.
Or so she’d thought. She’d left him sitting on that terrace with shame and despair in his eyes as if the story behind the ring hadn’t mattered. But he’d refused to explain; what was she to think? On the other hand, hadn’t all her dealings with the major come about from patience and persistence? She hadn’t given him either tonight, for he’d broken her heart, and that hurt had prompted her to flee, put space between them lest she suffer more. It had been years since her heart had been shattered, and she didn’t much like the feeling.
Finding time alone to sort through her scattered thoughts proved a challenge, for the duke had claimed her hand for a dance and she hadn’t the strength or wherewithal to refuse. He’d managed to lift her spirits, but only just, for every step she’d taken with him had reminded her of the waltz she’d shared with Finn. Tears had been close to falling. If the duke had noticed, he’d been too polite to mention them.
When the champagne’s bubbles tickled her nose, she shifted her attention back to the world around her and realized Ballantrae stared at her with a smile curving his chiseled lips. “I beg your pardon. I’ve been woolgathering.”
This isn’t how the story is supposed to go. Why can Finn not see that he’s every bit as good as the duke?She sighed. Why didn’t she tell him that instead of leaving him in the heat of the moment?
“Then I must do better in securing the whole of your attention.” He finished the last of his champagne. After setting his empty flute on the table he turned his dazzling ice blue gaze on her. “Have you given further thought to my wish to pay my addresses to you?”
Merciful heavens, her reprieve had expired. Before she answered, she gulped down the remainder of her beverage, and when the bubbles stung her throat, Jane gasped. The duke gently tugged the empty flute from her hand and set it next to his. She would be a proper ninny not to accept his suit. Marriage to the duke meant security and position, and her father already liked him, where he’d warned her away from Finn.
But…
She raised a gloved hand to touch the heart pendant and belatedly remembered she hadn’t worn the piece this evening. Follow your heart, girl, no matter what is expected of you. Duty can hang. Your heart will always know where to call home. Her grandmother’s words rang in her ears, now more poignant than ever. As she held the duke’s gaze, her eyes filled with tears.
I love Phineas Storme.
Home was wherever Finn was, even if he was currently acting the nodcock. She couldn’t imagine a future without the major in it. What she needed right now was to find him, make up with him, and demand he explain himself so they could repair the rift in their relationship before it grew larger. Her brother was right. Nothing worth having came easy, not even in the stories she adored, but she was fully prepared for every challenge and obstacle.
“Dearest Henry.” She laid a hand on his arm and hoped to goodness that was his Christian name. The facts in her head were quite jumbled, especially when every beat of her heart called out for Finn. “You are a wonderful man and an even more lovely catch…”
“Yet?” Insecurity flashed in his eyes that weren’t the right shade of blue.
“But you aren’t all of that for me,” she finished rather lamely. What a terrible thing to break someone’s heart, and what a horrible burden it was.
“I see.” A muscle in his cheek jumped when he clenched his teeth. “Is there someone else?” He flicked his gaze to the people milling about and watching them with interest in their expressions before looking at her again.
It was all too complicated to try and explain. “There is the hope of someone else.” She squeezed her fingers on his arm that had gone as taut and rigid as his posture. “You deserve a woman who will give you the whole of her attention and heart. I apologize for not telling you the truth sooner.”
“I appreciate your candor now.” The duke bowed from the waist. He took up her hand and brought the gloved fingers to his lips. “Then I wish you all the best in life. I hope you find what you’re searching for.”
“Thank you.” The tears gathering in her eyes spilled onto her cheeks. She brushed them away as the heat of embarrassment sank in. Why was choosing a man so deuced emotional and trying? “Would that you discover the perfect lady for you.”
“I thought I had, but my heart still beats so I’m not yet dead.” A tiny smile curved his lips, but the gaiety from the dance they’d shared had faded. “Life must go on.” With a nod, he took his leave.
Oh drat, drat, drat.
Second thoughts plagued Jane’s mind. She twisted her hands together as she worried. The duke had vanished into the crowded ballroom. Would he dance with someone else? Her heart went out to him, for as the host of the event, he couldn’t very well slip away to lick his wounds in private. Had she made the right choice? There was every chance that by turning the duke away, she’d end this night without either man.
Oh, falling in love is a terrible thing, even if it has brilliant potential.
Barely had she decided to dash into a ladies’ retiring room to regain her composure before seeking out Finn, when his mother rushed over to her with panic in her expression.
“Lady Hadleigh, what’s wrong?” Knots formed in her belly, for she knew Finn was involved.
The older woman took a few deep breaths before speaking. “Do you know where Phineas is?” She glanced about the immediate area. “I’d hoped he’d come and found you after your disagreement.”
Warmth invaded Jane’s cheeks. “He told you what happened?”
“Not in so many words; just that you’d had some sort of falling out. I advised him to fight for you.”
“He did not. I haven’t seen him since I left the terrace after our quarrel.” A ball of unshed tears formed in her throat. She swallowed them down else she’d become a watering pot. “Why do you ask?”