“Answer me this: have you recently seen the woman to whom the ring belongs?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth as she believed. However, that one little word taken out of context was damning, and the chilly silence that brewed between them was evidence of that.
“I see.” She scrubbed at the moisture on her cheeks. “Devil take you, Finn. I thought you were different; I’d hope you’d be… more.”
It was all too easy to fall back on old ways of thinking. “Of course I’m not. I can’t be more of anything, now can I?” The flooding bitterness in his voice was evident to his own ears.
She blew out a breath. “It was never about the state of your body, the use of your legs, or anything like that. Haven’t you realized that by now?” When he didn’t answer, for panic filled his chest, she shook her head. “Please don’t seek me out for the remainder of the evening. I’m too furious with you to talk politely.”
“Jane, wait. Truly, it’s not like that.” Due to his own stupidity and cowardice, he was losing the best thing to ever happen to him, but fear kept him rooted to the spot and his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth.
“Yet you won’t rectify the situation, and without honesty, I have nothing more to say to you.” Without another word, she turned and stormed into the ballroom amidst a flurry of skirting.
Pieces of his heart crumbled off the whole to tumble about his feet. A shiver racked his shoulders. With her defection, it was as if the sun had hidden behind thick clouds. With nothing else to do, Finn wheeled himself into the room. Despite glancing at the crowd, he didn’t immediately spy Jane. Had she fled to a retiring room, perhaps hidden herself away into a quiet area to sob out her grief? Emotion clogged his throat, lodged in the center of his chest like a ball of tar. He’d been the greatest nodcock to not explain the significance of that ring, and the consequence of that decision would haunt him for the rest of his life.
It felt much like it had after his regiment suffered defeats from the enemy on the fields of battle. He moved as if in a dream, maneuvering his chair along the sides of the ballroom without a clear destination in mind. What would he do without her?
“Oh, Phineas, I’m so glad I found you.”
With a barely stifled groan, he turned his head as his mother joined him. “What can I do for you, Mother?”
“Why are you not with Lady Jane?” At least she didn’t mince words, but the fact that she didn’t sent the knife twisting deeper into his broken heart.
“She and I have had a disagreement.” There was no point in creating a lie. Speaking it aloud didn’t provide relief from the hurt battering him.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” His mother frowned. “Perhaps you should circulate and talk to others. It will help. There are plenty of lovely young ladies in attendance tonight. Ballantrae has invited many of the ton’s elite.”
“Well, bully for him.” He did not wish to hear anything concerning the duke. “However, I’m not of a mind to seek out anyone else tonight.” With a wave of his hand, he dismissed his mother. “Go have fun. You deserve to enjoy yourself.”
She frowned and touched a hand to his shoulder. “Is there any way you can make up with the lady?”
“I’m not sure.” Another wave of desolation swept over him, and he steeled himself against it.
“Try, Phineas.” Compassion pooled in her eyes. “When you find someone who fits you like a comfortable glove, fight for her.”
The urge to talk with his mother, to tell her everything and ask for her advice, grew strong, but he tamped on it. Nothing could change what had happened. “I’ll take that under advisement.”
She melted into the crowd and soon she’d been snapped up by an older viscount, who led her out onto the dance floor. They took up position near Drew and his wife. As Finn moved his gaze along the other couples, jealousy slammed into his chest. Ballantrae was partnering Jane for this set. She smiled up into his face, and he already looked the besotted fool.
“Oh, God.” He rubbed at his chest above his continually breaking heart.
“They make a handsome pair, don’t they?”
Finn glanced at the man who’d come abreast of him, and his shoulders slumped. “Doctor Marsden. Good evening.” He swung his attention back to the couple, and another few pieces of his heart tumbled to the floor. “They are quite nice.” The words barely escaped his tight throat. All he wanted to do was rage at the heavens and ask why this debacle could happen.
“I’m honestly surprised she’s not with you at the moment,” the surgeon continued as if he couldn’t sense that Finn’s world was collapsing with every passing second.
“Why is that?”
“When my sister is in your company, she’s lit from within.” He gestured toward the dance floor with his chin. “That is not the case now.”
Finn flicked his gaze to Jane. It was true. He’d never noticed it before, but she didn’t seem as sunny or as spirited as she was when with him. Though she smiled and laughed with the duke, the gaiety didn’t reflect in her eyes. “Regardless, she has made her choice.”
“Will you sit there and accept it even though you know it’s the wrong one?” the surgeon asked in a quiet voice.
“Why do you assume that? He’ll give her the life she should have.”
“Because he doesn’t love her like you do.”